First year of marriage: We’re married! Look at all this cool stuff we got for our wedding. We just zapped it with one of those thingamajiggys at the store and people bought it for us. We have 14 serving bowls! And fine china!! And a weird bongo drum from a distant hippy relative. In what world is a bongo drum an appropriate wedding gift?!
Let’s have a dinner party! Wait – I don’t know how to cook anything. Just put everything in the china cabinet. We’ll use it soon. I’m sure of it!
Second year of marriage: Let’s try to get pregnant! Because babies seem fun!
Third year of marriage: We have a baby! What’s with all the crying? I thought they were just supposed to sleep, smile and coo. Why did we take 6 weeks of childbirth classes and only a 1 hour class in newborn care?! Seems like the professionals were taking care of my childbirth. Where are the professionals now?
Fourth year of marriage: I want another baby. I know the first one is exhausting and frustrating but I just love her so much.
Fifth year of marriage: We have a second baby. She’s so cute. I love her so much too. Now they are both crying. I really need a blowout. And a pedicure. And 14 hours of uninterrupted sleep.
Sixth year of marriage: Rich – I mean, Rick. Of course, I know your name. I’m just so tired.
Seventh year of marriage: Maybe we need a weekend away for just the two of us. Ugh never mind, the kids are sick. They are throwing up. Honey, find those serving bowls we got for our wedding. Put them by each kid’s bed so they don’t puke on the floor.
Eighth year of marriage: Honey, I love you so much but are you sure we aren’t allowed to date other people? Like not all all? You’re sure? No, that’s cool. I mean, I wasn’t saying that I wanted to date other people. I just wanted to confirm.
Ninth year of marriage: We have twins! I’m not a math genius but I think that means we have 4 kids. Wow. Even more crying. Mostly me. When I was young and free, I never imagined I would wipe this many butts.
Tenth year of marriage: All the kids really love that bongo drum. What a fantastic wedding gift that was! We should give anyone getting married a bongo drum.
Eleventh year of marriage: This is really a lot of children. How do kids have so much energy? Sometimes I wish they would just relax a little. Wow, one more kid! I was not expecting that. OMG, he’s adorable. I love this guy. He’s so sweet. But why do the other children talk so much?
Twelfth year of marriage: How can we still be so excited by a kid walking for the first time? But we totally are. I now know like 6 meals that I make in the crockpot. They take about 4 hours to cook but that gives me lots of time to fold laundry and help our daughter with her impossible 4th grade homework.
I am so in love with our family and our life and you.
And I am so very tired.