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1. I’m sure they do background checks on your kid’s counselor, right?

2. I heard you get charged by the camp every time you refresh the photos on their website.

3. How do you know your child is actually brushing his teeth. Like ever?

4. At my husband’s camp, they had this thing called bush time where you could go in the bushes with your camp boyfriend or girlfriend.

5. So for the cost of one kid to go to sleep away, you could have had an insanely awesome trip to Europe for the whole family?

6. You must feel so free! I bet you are loving it!! 7 weeks of freedom baby! Hey, why are you crying?

7. Counselors aren’t allowed to date the campers, are they?

8. Since all your kids are at camp, could I could send a couple of mine over?

9. I’m sure the meals are organic. They probably just don’t advertise that because they don’t want to seem snobby.

10. Did you hear about that mountain lion sighting? In the Poconos? Or was it in Maine? I can’t remember.

11. Do kids buy their own beer or do you send it in a care package?

12. I’m sure the time will fly by! Wait – it’s only been 3 days, it seems like a lifetime and you feel like your right arm has been cut off? Well, my husband says sleep away camp was the defining experience of his childhood. And good news…I think there is a new Bachelorette on tonight!

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kelcey kintner