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Aug
25
2014

Kelcey sent her husband Rick this email…

Rick, I was thinking about a couple things. I love when you make the bed! And I love the way one corner always touches the floor. It brings me back to the days of my asymmetrical haircut in high school.

________________________

Rick responded…

I don’t know what you are talking about.

________________________

Kelcey responded…

Me: Photo attached. See how one corner lovingly grazes the floor?

rick makes the bed
_____________________

Rick wrote….

I think it looks great. And a lot of husbands don’t make beds.

_____________________

Kelcey wrote…

True. And lots of women don’t look as radiant in red as I do – so let’s call it even.

_____________________

Rick wrote…

Good point. Was there anything else more pressing you wanted to discuss?

_____________________

Kelcey wrote…

There’s the issue of how much I love that Pina Colada song. You know, the one that goes, “If you like Pina Coladas, getting caught in the rain. If you’re not into yoga, if you have half a brain.”

_____________________

Rick wrote…

I see you’re still listening to that 70′s station in the car. 

_____________________

Kelcey wrote…

It’s funny that such a sweet song is really about two people trying to cheat on each other. They both place personal ads for gosh sakes. That takes some effort. 

_____________________

Rick wrote…

Maybe they needed to  go through all that to find each other again.

_____________________

Kelcey wrote…

I’m so glad that you feel that way because I just placed a personal ad.

_____________________

Rick wrote…

Fantastic! Keep me posted on any developments. Anything else we need to talk about? 

_____________________

Kelcey wrote…

I really really really want to go to Italy. We haven’t been since Dylan and Summer were little and I just need some Europe.

_____________________

Rick wrote…

That would  amazing. Let’s price it out!

_____________________

Kelcey wrote…

I did! It’s about a million dollars for flights and lodging.

_____________________

Rick wrote…

Does that include our checked bags?

_____________________

Kelcey wrote…

Absolutely!

_____________________

Rick wrote…

So we’ll just get Italian food this weekend instead?

______________________

Kelcey wrote….

Yeah, that sounds good. Gotta run. Xo

_____________________

Rick: Love you.

______________________

Liked this post? Check out Emails in a Marriage Part 1 and Part 2!


Aug
20
2014

My 7 and 9 year old really really like clothes. Like when their younger cousin gave us hand-me-downs (sizes 4T, 5T & 6) for my youngest daughter, the older girls snatched them up and started creating all kinds of crazy outfits.

Outfits that required me to say things like, “You’re too young to wear a half shirt. In fact, never wear a half shirt.”

(I guess Real Housewife Bethenny Frankel has some competition when it comes to wearing size 4T.)

They also love new clothes – mostly from the cult of Justice. My daughters can not walk by that place in the mall without being lured in by some kind of sparkly magnetic force. The bonus? I make my girls buy clothes is their actual size. The downside? I have to pay money.

So I was pretty intrigued to find out about MoxieJean. Have you ever heard of this site? It is awesome. And you know I don’t use the word lightly. Awesome is used for things like finding out Milli Vanilli is putting out a new album. That’s the kind of threshold I’m talking about.

MoxieJean is an upscale resale site for kids that features cool brands like Juicy, Justice, Ralph Lauren, Mini Boden, Gap, Hanna Andersson and much more. Because the items are preowned, they are about 75% off. But this stuff looks completely new.

There’s no picking through racks. You can go on the site and shop for your kids like any other website but it’s soooo much cheaper.

Here’s how the girls felt when they opened the box. See if you can detect any enthusiasm…

MoxieJean gave me a $35 gift card and I spent $20 of my own money. And we ended up with 5 items that my girls love. Like LOVE.

MoxieJean Clothes

Dylan and Summer did a mini fashion show…

.Dylan in MoxieJean dress

Summer in MoxieJean outfit

Dylan outside in MoxieJean

Dylan - last photo MoxieJean

Ah… that last photo brings me back to the days of Barbizon Modeling School when I had great dreams of being the first 5′ 3″ supermodel. It’s so weird that never panned out.

None of these clothes looks preowned. In fact, some still had the tags. Even cooler, you can make money or credit towards future purchases by sending your own kids clothes to be sold on the site. (Just make sure they are in excellent like-new condition.)

So ready to do some back to school shopping? Visit MoxieJean. Use the coupon code LOOK4LESS19 and get $10 of Moxie Money for every $50 you spend. (Or $25 for every $100 you spend.)

Also enter our giveaway!

This year, the average family will spend a hefty $355 on back to school clothes. So we’re giving away a MoxieJean Back to School Wardrobe gift card for $177.50 – the winner will be able to get a full back to school wardrobe for HALF of what it would cost new!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Moxie Jean. The opinions and text are all mine.


Aug
18
2014

girl-scoutcook-4I was thinking of signing my older girls up for Girl Scouts again this year.

Honestly, it would mostly be for direct access to an unlimited amount of Samoas but I also like that it’s character building to sell cookies door to door. The organization also teaches good values and the importance of volunteer work.

I was also thinking of not doing it because I loathe putting on those patches.

And because my daughter once fell in a shark tank during a Girl Scout outing but that was hardly their fault.

Last week, there was a very nice Girl Scouts representative at my daughters’ new school and I decided to sign up for more information.

Just a few hours later, I received a warm, professional email from this representative (a parent and local Girl Scout leader) inviting us to a BBQ  so my girls could meet some of the other Girl Scouts members.

Fabulous, I thought!

And then I looked at the woman’s email address.

DirtyChristianWoman at yahoo dot com.

Wait, what?!

So I googled the woman’s name and quickly found her blog called…. Confessions of a Dirty Christian. (I see a theme here.) I tentatively clicked on it, half assuming it would immediately begin funneling money out of my bank account and into some kind of international sex ring.

But it was not a scam.

And even more surprising – not a porno site.

But instead, a blog focused on this woman’s religious beliefs and practice.

She explains… “Before you get all up in arms assuming that this is some pornographic symposium, let me explain…. I label myself “dirty” as a means of expressing the “imperfect/sinful” nature of my heart. As a Christian woman the blood of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has made me clean, but my heart continues to sin or remain dirty until I bath in the Lords forgiveness through daily prayer in confession.”

I certainly support everyone’s personal religious beliefs. People have a right to practice whatever faith they believe in. But as a parent and Girl Scouts leader, is it really necessary or professional to have an email address calling yourself a DirtyChristianWoman?

Hmmm….

We didn’t end up going to the BBQ because we had plans. And because I hadn’t had time to come up with a fun new email address for myself. I mean, I’m not going to be outdone by the Girls Scouts.

I haven’t made any final decisions but kelcey@HotSexyMama.com is totally a contender.


Aug
14
2014

My 9 year old daughter, almost 10, has wanted a phone for awhile. And by awhile, I mean, forever. Like her life is ruined if she doesn’t get one soon. Of course, her life is also ruined if we run out of her favorite chips.

Anyway, I’m pretty sure that she heard Pantech had a first phone for tweens because suddenly I heard from the company. The conversation went something like this.

Pantech PR woman: Pantech has this great new phone for tweens. Would you like to review it and also give one away to your readers?

Me: Did Dylan call you?

Pantech PR woman: Who’s Dylan?

Me: Oh you know who she is. Your partner in crime. The clever 9 year old who is trying to get a phone. The one who called you to set this whole thing up.

Pantech PR woman: I’m not sure what you’re talking about but I’d be happy to give you more information about the Pantech Vybe phone.

Me: Man, she trained you well.

So Pantech sent me a phone for Dylan and her younger sister Summer to try out. This is how they felt when the phone arrived…

And the Pantech Vybe truly is a great first phone. It has a large touchscreen display, a slide-out keyboard (which is perfect for little fingers), an easy camera button, messaging, videos, Bluetooth, access to social media (if you want that for your kid) and more.

That’s the part my kids liked.

This is the part I liked….

It’s VERY affordable. It’s available at AT & T for only $29.99 with a 2 year contract.

Plus, all you have to do is disable the data usage and you can prevent you kids from using Facebook, Twitter, email and the Internet. That leaves old school phone calls and texting which is exactly how I like it.

Plus you know this company is smart because they bought the web address MyFirstPhone.com. Which was a much smarter purchase than MothersForJustinBieber.com. (Yes, I bought that address and no it didn’t really pan out.) I never invest in the right things.

Anyway, because the folks at Pantech are super cool, they are giving away one of these phones. Yes, that’s right. To one of you.

Just leave a comment on this site mentioning Pantech. Like… “If I had a son, I would totally name him Pantech” or “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GIVE ME THIS PANTECH PHONE.” Something like that.

(Also, if you want to be entered twice, make sure you have liked Pantech and the Mama Bird Diaries on Facebook).

Good luck ladies. xo

This is a sponsored post for Pantech. All ideas are my own. 


Aug
11
2014

About a year ago, when I moved from New York to Florida, I had to make some difficult choices. Like what stayed. And what went.

Like my stone washed denim jean jacket from 1984. Obviously it came with us.

And my tea collection from the 90′s despite the fact that I don’t drink tea. (I tossed the tea in this elaborate ceremony replicating the Boston Tea Party.)

And there were the girls’ gigantic art sculptures.

scupture-portrait

Unbelievably they made the cut and now reside in Florida.

In the garage.

And then there were the Build A Bears. We had a small village of them. But no one ever played with them. So with a heavy, panicked heart, I donated them all, along with their Build A Bear closets and their snazzy bear sized outfits to Goodwill.

Pretty much since that moment, I’ve been dreading the day the girls notice the bears never showed up in Florida.

But nothing.

I mean, I wasn’t an idiot. When their Brownie/Daisy troops did an outing to Build A Bear, we didn’t attend. And I did everything I could to prevent any kind of mention of bears in our house which is obviously difficult because bears are rampant in children’s literature.

But somehow we made it through an entire year. Until this week when we were wandering through some mall (in an effort to escape the satan like temperatures outside) and we passed the BUILD A BEAR STORE.

Dylan: “Heyyyyyyyyyy….. what ever happened to all our Build A Bears?”

Me: —

Dylan: “Mom, where did our Build A Bears go? I loved all those bears. They were the best. I remember each one. I even had one that smelled like cookies. Mmmm..”

Me: —

Dylan: “Mom, can you hear me?”

At this point, I was frozen by the Annie’s Pretzel counter hoping that if I stayed very still, Dylan would think I was just a mannequin display. I knew I had 3 options.

1. Go with my original plan to tell my kids the bears got so liquored up at the Laguardia airport bar that Jet Blue wouldn’t let them get on the plane to Florida and we had to leave them at the airport.

2. Come clean and tell them I donated them to charity and face the reality that for the rest of their lives my children would blame me for carelessly discarding their precious bears leading to feelings of loss and abandonment that keeps them from experiencing true connections with other people.

3. Tell them the bears must have gotten lost in the move.

I think it’s really important to be honest with kids. I mean, how else do children learn honesty if we don’t lead by example?

Which is why I told them the moving truck must have lost the bears.

Because maybe the charity decided to give the bears to kids in Miami.

And maybe the bears were loaded on a truck on route to Florida.

And maybe the driver had had enough of this trucking gig and didn’t drive to Miami at all.

And maybe instead, he hightailed it to Nevada where he now lives with a lovely girl named Rita and 15 magnificently dressed Build A Bears.

I’m just saying it’s possible.

 



kelcey kintner


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