I was looking at some old photos of my daughter Dylan when she was 4. We used to put her to bed and when we would check on her, she would be wrapped in winter garb.
We lived in an apartment so we kept all the winter stuff in her closet bedroom. Something tells me she didn’t immediately go to sleep after we tucked her in.
But lately, at the age of 8, she seems so big, with a lot less winter attire at bedtime. And she’s opinionated. And very dissatisfied with my parental decisions.
Once again, I’m starting to feel sorry for my mother.
She thinks it’s an outrage that I don’t let her wear leggings to school. (Dylan, not my mother.) “BECAUSE EVERY OTHER GIRL DOES.” Maybe I should?
She thinks it’s unconscionable (my word, not hers) that I won’t let her win a fish at the school fair. Why am I so anti-fish other than the fact that I don’t want to deal with the bowl, or the food or watch it swim sadly in circles or face the day Chase takes it out for a swim in the toilet?
She can not believe I won’t let her leave her bedroom windows open as far as they will go. She thinks my argument about not wanting the twins to fall from the 2nd floor is unconvincing. I’m pretty convinced.
She is devastated to not live right next door to her best friend. And to not have a bathroom attached to her bedroom. Because I guess those are equally as awful.
She thinks she should be allowed to drive even though I told her it’s really boring.
Dylan is an incredibly good child. She does her homework. She finishes her chores. She is ridiculously sweet with the twins. Even her bouts of anger end with apology notes showing great maturity.
I guess I just didn’t expect her fierce desire for independence to start so soon. I thought I had a little more time left. I just wish more love was coming my way, and a few less complaints.
She is growing, changing, testing and at times, it’s exhausting.
But I keep loving her madly. Because that’s what parents do.
Sometimes I don’t understand my country.
I mean, obviously it rocks because in this country Americans get opportunities they couldn’t get anywhere else. Like Snooki and JWoww getting a spinoff show for example.
But sometimes we Americans just seem so intent on doing the wrong thing.
Like the Senate is supposed to debate a comprehensive gun package this month but a group of 13 senators led by Rand Paul, Mike Lee and Ted Cruz, have threatened to filibuster it.
“We will oppose the motion to proceed to any legislation that will serve as a vehicle for any additional gun restrictions,” the senators wrote in a letter to Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid.
I wish Rand Paul would go back to ranting about drone policy.
Even Senator John McCain was like – you knuckleheads are WAY CRAZY. Why wouldn’t we consider this legislation?!
Okay, that might not have been his exact quote. He actually said, “I don’t understand it. The purpose of the United States Senate is to debate and to vote and to let the people know where we stand.”
The assault weapon ban is not even on the table at this point. (Thanks guys for that.) And limiting high capacity magazines is very much in doubt, despite the fact that it took the Newtown shooter less than 5 minutes to end 26 lives. LESS THAN 5 MINUTES.
Even the universal background checks are now in jeopardy even though 91% of Americans support universal background checks. 91%. That is an insane amount of agreement amongst very different kinds of people across this country.
But you know what? I, and many others, are sick of seeing young children and other innocent Americans gunned down in the so-called spirit of the 2nd amendment. If you are a law abiding citizen, enjoy your guns. But most of us would like to keep firearms out of the hands of criminals and the mentally ill.
Some states like Connecticut have taken sweeping bi-partisan action on their own. Connecticut’s new law bans some weapons, plus the sale and purchase of high-capacity magazines like those used in the Sandy Hook shooting. The legislation also requires background checks for all gun purchases.
Colorado and New York have also passed tough measures.
But what about the rest of the country?!
If the Senate filibusters this already watered down legislation, then every single Senator who opposes sensible gun restrictions should take a trip to Newtown, CT and explain their actions to the parents who will never hold or hug their children again.
Please remember that there are 84 million mothers in the United States and only 4 million NRA members. We can not take the risk of staying silent.
Resources:
Americans for Responsible Solutions (Former Congresswoman Gabby Gifford’s organization)
Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in American
Brady Campaign To Prevent Gun Violence
You know how toddlers love to carry random stuff around with them like vacuum parts, tupperware or a 1992 yearbook.
Chase is obsessed with carrying stuff everywhere and I’m obsessed with not hearing him whine, so it generally works out pretty well for us.
Until a friend at school drop off said to me, “Do you know that Chase is packing a knife?”
Umm… yes. I sort of did.
But it is a butter knife. And it’s plastic. And he really likes it. So that’s okay, right?
Oh fine. I took it away.
mama bird notes:
So where else can you find me this weekend? On Lifetime Moms, I’m writing about what you absolutely must do before you ever have baby. See if you agree or have any ones to add.
And on Alpha Mom, I’m talking about how to create a baby book fast. Remember, you aren’t writing The Odyssey. You can make a simple, beautiful baby book without a huge production.
Have you LIKED The Mama Bird Diaries on Facebook? If you become a Facebook fan, I’ll never loan your toddler a butter knife. CLICK HERE.
I knew it was April Fools’ Day on Monday which is why I helped Dylan and Summer get dressed quickly so they could sneak back into their beds and pretend to be all sleepy and lazy when their dad came in.
I lured him into their bedroom saying, “Dylan isn’t feeling well. The girls are still in bed. Can you check on them?”
And once he arrived, they jumped out of bed with gusto, fully dressed and laughing.
He later tried to get them back by pretending to go to work in nothing but shorts and socks. But they knew it was his day off and they were too focused on breakfast to even give him a courtesy laugh. I chuckled a little because the effort was totally there.
Not long after, Dylan, Summer and I got stuck in the bathroom. I was getting ready and they were complaining about the dreaded act of going back to school after vacation. Dylan decided to table her moaning for just a few minutes so she could put on earrings in her bedroom. She attempted to leave the bathroom but when she turned the door handle, it fell off and we couldn’t get out.
Thank goodness for phones! If this was 1973, we’d be stuck in there for 2 days with only water and the floor warmer to keep us alive.
Rick was right downstairs which would have been very convenient if he had answered his cell phone or the home phone or noticed texts like this one…
“We are stuck in bathroom! Not April Fools. Why are you not answering phone?!!!!”
He finally did respond with some kind of ridiculous, “I was reading to the twins” excuse.
With that trauma behind me, I started reading one of my favorite blogs and my friend Wendi Aarons revealed that she had written and self published an erotica book called PTO Passion. She described her literary endeavor…
“PTO PASSION is the hot, spicy tale of PTO President Raquella Roberts who falls hard for the mysterious, hunky owner of the dunk tank she rented for the school carnival. I don’t want to give too much of the plot away, but just know that there’s an amazingly torrid scene between Raquella and Wet Tommy that involves yoga pants, clipboards and the back of a dented Honda minivan. (HOT.)”
And I emailed Wendi, “Are we friends? You write an entire book and don’t mention it to me?!” And then I’m scouring the post for the Amazon link but of course there isn’t one because it’s a joke.
I mean, she even wrote “Gotcha” at the bottom of the post but I somehow missed that in my earnest desire to find out what happens between Raquella and Wet Tommy.
And now of course, I’ll never know. The way I see it, Wendi owes me a book.
And she should throw in a new doorknob just to be nice.
mama bird notes:
Have you seen the trailer for Spring Breakers? Spoiler alert… some Disney stars shed their good girl images as fast as their clothes. Read my post on Lifetime Moms.
Vacation week is OVER and well, it was actually pretty great.
I realized I’m turning a corner with my twins turning 3 soon and I can finally take all 4 of my kids to public places by myself without having an anxiety attack. It’s going to be a whole new world for us — oh wait, forgot about the baby coming. Never mind.
We really did have a good week.
I mean, other than Harlowe accidentally getting her head stuck in an Easter bucket for a few tense minutes.
It happened at an Easter egg hunt. It was held at this gorgeous retirement community and we brought my dad. He was a little concerned that “Easter egg hunt” was an euphemism for “You are about to be admitted against your will to this assisted living facility” but I reassured him that we could never afford the place. He can live out his golden years in our basement because we take care of family.
I also got pink eye which sort of sucked. And no, you can’t get it from this post. I’m pretty sure I got it from bad karma as I explain on Alpha Mom.
Pink eye meant no eye make up and no contact lenses all week. Obviously, I already feel enormously alluring at 32 weeks pregnant, so this only heightened my incredible sex appeal.
And it was at one of these moments – when I was wearing no makeup and glasses – that I ran into a local mom who rarely notices my existence in the world.
Do you know one of these moms?! They know you but they pretend not to know know you. Why do they do that?!
Normally, she wouldn’t say hello but as I’ve mentioned my magnetic sex appeal is fully on display so I guess that’s why she stopped.
We started talking about my pregnancy and exercise and for some reason (because this not-so-friendly mom makes me nervous), I start saying… “Well, I try to walk but it’s hard because I feel like the whole time I’m walking, all I feel is VAG*NA, VAG*NA, VAG*NA….”
I was trying to explain that once you are in your third trimester, there is just so much pressure on your vag*na. But somehow I couldn’t stop saying the word. And she didn’t laugh at all which made me more nervous so I just kept repeating the word.
“Oh my gosh, why do I keep saying vag*na?!!” I thought to myself.
Finally, by the grace of god, I stopped and she said goodbye and well, that might be the end of our pretend friendship.
But other than the Harlowe stuck in an Easter bucket, the pink eye and the vag*na episode, the vacation was all good.
P.S. The natural easter egg dyes I ordered rocked. Great colors and no stained hands!

















