My husband Rick doesn’t notice much around the house. The same stuff could be sitting on the same counter for a really long time and he would never notice.
But for some reason, he has super powers when it comes to noticing these sparkly pink sequins that keep falling off Dylan’s shirt.
He constantly picks them up off the floor and groans about it as if someday we are going to drown in a sea of glittery sequins. I think that’s actually how Liberace died.
So the other night, Rick had gone to bed and 7-week-old Cash was still sleeping in his car seat in our living room. Cash had been out partying with us at a fireworks party and we left him in there for a bit when we got home.
And as I reached down to take him out, I saw this…
Yes, Rick stuck one of the sequins to Cash’s head before he went to bed.
Because what’s the point of having children, if you can’t use them as a prop for comedic fun.
mama bird notes:
In general, I don’t accept free product because this isn’t a product review site and well, I don’t like stuff all that much. But I was contacted by Lyfe Kitchen which makes these frozen, healthy, low calorie meals in environmentally friendly packaging. And I agreed to try them – mostly because I was starving at the time and couldn’t figure out how to get to the grocery store. And as far as frozen meals go, they were good! Chicken chile verde with polenta & black beans was my favorite. Now I wouldn’t serve these at a dinner party but for a quick yummy lunch, they were great. (This is NOT a sponsored endorsement.)
Become a Mama Bird Diaries Facebook fan today. If you do, I will never stick a pink sequin to your head. And that’s a promise!
I’ve got some big news. And let me stop you right there because I am not pregnant. I love all 5 of my gorgeous children but I’m not looking to add to the bunch. I mean, look at the ones I’ve got….
Did you see what I did there? I held you hostage with the promise of big news and then made you look at photos of my children.
So here’s the deal. We are moving. To the Miami area. I have lived in New York a long time and it’s hard to imagine myself as anything but a girl who lives in NY but now I’m going to be a girl who lives in FL.
Why are we moving?
Mostly because we want to wait in long voting lines and be swing voters. And eat dinner much earlier. Plus, my husband got a new job opportunity down there. Wrangling alligators I think.
I’m very sad to leave our friends but very happy to kick winter to the curb. My oldest daughter, a 3rd grader, is devastated. She says she’s not going. She says she is duct taping herself to her best friend. She says she’ll miss us but we can visit her in New York. I have run out of words to try to make her feel better so now I just nod my head and say, “Okay Dylan. We will miss you too.What pattern duct tape are you using?”
Because I was very pregnant when we needed to buy a house, Rick flew down to Florida and bought one. Except for photos, I’ve never seen it. This is a man that I would prefer not grocery shop alone and he has purchased us a house. I’m trying not to stress out about it. I mean, I’m sure I’ll love the Chia Pet carpeting and Western themed mosaics.
So we are leaving.
But not leaving you.
Because you’ll always find me and my family right here.
mama bird notes:
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My girls have been been begging me to help them do a lemonade stand for a long time. But our street has zero foot traffic and what’s sadder than two kids sitting at a lemonade stand with no customers?! (Okay, there are sadder things but still it’s awfully depressing.) Because I didn’t want to buy and drink 15 glasses of lemonade myself, I kept putting it off.
Then I had this lemonade epiphany and you can imagine how rare a lemonade epiphany is in life. We could be a mobile lemonade stand and walk a few blocks to the center of town! And we wouldn’t just sell lemonade, we would sell iced coffee too!!
(In full disclosure, I did not come up with the iced coffee idea myself. Although it obviously seems like the kind of genius thing I would come up with if given enough time. But it was International Delight (the makers of delish iced coffee and creamers) that gave me the idea.
So we pulled out our wagon and we were in businesses…
These were our first customers…
And then we got real customers! (No offense Harlowe and Chase.)
The girls made about $5 which they immediately gambled away. I mean, put away for their Ivy League education.
Want to do your own lemonade/ iced coffee stand this summer? Go to International Delight where they have super cute ideas for your stand. The company teamed up with The TomKat studio and you can print out adorable signs, banners and more that will make your stand the most posh in all the land. I swear!
By the way is it ICED coffee or ICE coffee? My gosh, now I don’t know. The world is a confusing place, isn’t it?! Thank goodness there is refreshing lemonade and coffee (with ice) to make us all feel better.
This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of International Delight. The opinions and text are all mine.
It was for such dumb stuff too like whacking my sisters in the face and turning the playroom into water world. Just so you know – in case you ever come over – my mother is not particularly keen on toilet water being transported into the playroom. I explained to her that I was, “making coffee” but she was still pissed off.
I haven’t written a guest post in a while because my mother’s laptop broke. The shift key no longer worked which is odd because I used it several hundred times last week with no problem whatsoever.
Things have also been nuts around here with my new baby brother. I really love that kid. Especially his toes. I’m constantly trying to kiss them. And I love his face. My mother is always saying, “GENTLE!” I’ll be honest, I’m not exactly sure about the definition of gentle because no one has bothered to buy me a dictionary but it doesn’t seem to mean lie on top of my baby brother while shouting, “I love my baby!!!!”
My mother does seem to be at her breaking point with five kids. The other morning, four of us (not Cash because his vocabulary is very weak) were complaining and whining to the max. My mom kept saying something to us but who could hear her over all the ruckus.
And that’s when she threw down her bags and started screaming, “I can’t take it anymore!! You children have broken me. If you don’t want to go to camp – don’t go! Watch TV all day if that’s what you want. I don’t care!!!” And she stormed out of the room.
Now I would definitely have taken her up on that watch TV all day offer but my older sisters got tears in their eyes and started apologizing and begging to go to camp. I think I muttered, “I’m sorry” too but the only thing I was sorry about was missing out on an all day Curious George TV marathon.
Speaking of camp – this is the first time my sister Harlowe and I have ever done this separation thing. You would think our parents would ease us into it, so we wouldn’t have to deal with any mental hardship but you would be very wrong.
They dropped us off at camp and sped out of there like they were driving Justin Bieber’s Ferrari. I cried so hard but Harlowe acted like she didn’t care at all. Miss Independent is going to have her own apartment by the time she is five. As for me, I’m never leaving daddy or baby Cash’s toes.
Turned out camp was very fun, except for the part when Harlowe and I locked ourselves in the bathroom. It was pretty terrifying since we didn’t have any access to snacks for a whole 57 seconds. Thanks to some stealth MacGyver moves, we got out of there and mommy did indeed pick us up. Which is great because I’m planning an afternoon of making coffee in the playroom. Mom will love it.
For some reason on Sunday morning, when it was very oven like outside, Rick and I decided not to go to the pool but instead to take a family jaunt to the farmer’s market. A farmer’s market always sounds like a charming family activity but it’s really a 22 minute excursion where you pay $10 for picked tomatoes and and another $15 for two pints of strawberries.
Sure you could pay less at the grocery store while staying cool but it doesn’t sounds as Norman Rockwell to say you spent the morning in aisle 4 of Stop & Shop.
After purchasing our produce at the outdoor market, we decided to check out a nearby street where a movie is being filmed. Now when I lived in the West Village of Manhattan, I could rarely go out for a cup of coffee without tripping on wires from some production company filming something. I would usually let out a deep sigh as some 14 year-old production assistant exerted his one shred of authority by telling me to cross the street because they were “about to roll” on a shot.
The only time I paid any attention to one of these productions is when Jennifer Aniston was filming a movie on my street. I really wanted to get a glimpse of her, mostly to tell her that I was so happy she and Ross finally ended up together. I mean, it made my 2004. But alas, that girl is very tricky and she evaded me.
Once you move to a small town, a film production is less an annoyance and more of an après farmer’s market outing. The disillusioned New Yorker is gone – replaced by the mother of five who is desperate to come up with activities for her family on a hot, sticky Sunday.
Therefore since Jason Bateman and Tina Fey are filming a movie in my town, I figured we would take the kids over there and show them a little bit about the magic of movie making. Or what a bunch of production trucks look like.
At first it was a whole of nothing. A 14-year-old production assistant kept me from walking up the street because they were “about to roll.” Then 5 week old Cash needed to nurse so I plopped myself down on a friend’s stoop so I could feed him. Then the twins had to pee so Rick knocked on another neighbor’s door so they could use the bathroom.
Then suddenly, there he was…
Wait, here’s a closer look…
(Photo Credit: Jennifer Echlov)
Jason Bateman! Now that’s a family outing! Of course, none of the kids care about Jason Bateman. They were just sweaty and wondering why we weren’t at the pool. So we took our movie memories, our overpriced strawberries and headed home to change into our bathing suits. Well, I didn’t wear a suit. I had a baby 5 weeks ago! I’m not insane.
mama bird notes:
Find out what I think of Kim and Kanye’s baby name North West on Lifetime Moms by clicking here.
What’s the best age to pierce your child’s ears? I share my own experiences on Alpha Mom.
Finally, don’t miss a mama bird update. Become a Mama Bird Diaries Facebook fan today by clicking here and Jason Bateman will send you lots of love notes. Most likely. I mean, probably. You know. It could happen.