This was the first greeting I got from my husband and children on Mother’s Day.
Via text message at 8:24 am (because who needs Hallmark when you have texting).
“Happy Mother’s Day! We’re locked out so call us if you get this. We love you.”
Then my cell phone rang. Three times.
Then the knocking began.
Ok, ok…I’m up. I got it. Mother’s Day is on. Full on. Right now.
I’m glad I let those persistent buggers in because Rick and the girls lavished me with gifts and roses and caffeine. Then we went to our favorite diner and walked home in the brisk sunshine. In a universe of millions, these are my two favorite little hands to hold.
But there is something that always makes me a little uncomfortable about Mother’s Day.
It’s the day I feel like my relationship with my own mother is just not good enough. Shouldn’t we be like girlfriends, always shopping and laughing and lunching and pedicuring? Shouldn’t we be talking on the phone everyday, discussing whether McDreamy should be with Rose or Meredith. Like two peas in a maternal pod?
But we aren’t. She has never heard of Meredith or Rose. And long chats on the phone? Not exactly my thing.
So where do we connect? Especially on this holiday that expects so much from us.
Perhaps somewhere along the Hudson River.
Rick took the kids to New Jersey to see his family and my mother and I roller bladed along the water.
We skated and talked. And maybe it wasn’t a greetings card. Maybe we didn’t bond like they do in those effervescent Mother’s Day commercials. But it felt real.
I know sometimes we both wish it was different. That maybe if we could dart back in time, fix things somehow… erase divorce and limitations and our own strikingly different chemistry… then we could somehow be more alike. More intertwined.
Or maybe one must slowly let go of the past. Try to release those mother-daughter expectations. And realize, it’s ok to be different. It’s ok to just be ourselves.
Today I expressed, to my mother, my true joy that she is off on her next adventure, to pursue a degree in social work.
She shared how proud she feels to watch the woman and the mother I’ve become.
And she was an enormous part of that…. this me that now exists. And for that mom, I am truly grateful.
And maybe in the end, that was the gift of this day.
mama bird notes
Time for the mama’s survival kit giveaway! It includes decadent, organic homemade chocolates from nunu chocolates, organic coffee from Grounds for Change, and some eco friendly, fabulous wine from Parducci. No, I’m sorry Erin, sadly it doesn’t come with a nanny. Darn, I should have thought of that.
To enter to win, just leave a comment this week on the mama bird diaries.
I keep shoving that Dora chick in the kids’ closet and my daughter Dylan keeps pulling her out. Frankly, it’s scaring me a bit every time I unexpectedly run into her. Am I just a wimp or does this Dora doll look a little crazy and unstable?
And this girl doctor doll isn’t much better.
What is with the hair on these ladies? I understand this one is busy with all her hospital rounds and patients but a gal shouldn’t let herself go like this. I mean, a little maintenance on the doctor pigtails for gosh sakes.
Speaking of a tad scary, yesterday we shunned the posh playgrounds and headed to one that’s a bit rougher around the edges. There are always bored teenagers hanging around with their thongs hanging out of their rhinestone studded, low cut jeans. Loitering is a very popular hobby at this park.
Guys playing basketball nearby introduced my girls to fun, spirited phrases like, “F**k, you suck b**ch.” As we all know, you are never too young to learn useful sports terminology. Basically, it’s the kind of place you’d like to have your ass-kicking-wing-woman-Dora around once the sun goes down.
But the upside of all this urban exposure is very few children come here (what red flag? I don’t see a red flag.) so Dylan never has to wait for a swing…
And that’s pretty awesome. Plus, I rarely ever find drug paraphernalia on the ground.
Speaking more on the topic of awesome and less on drug paraphernalia, I hope all you rockin’ moms have an awesome mamas day.
mama bird notes
Don’t miss out on this mother’s day giveaway! Leave a comment on the mama bird diaries and you are entered to win this Lavender and Eucalyptus Bath Spa Kit from Organic Style. $80 value. I wish I could give one to every mum out there. This organic set combines the aromatherapy benefits of relaxing and soothing lavender with rejuvenating and refreshing eucalyptus.
Next week, I’ll be giving away a mother’s survival kit which includes organic coffee from Grounds for Change, decadent organic, homemade chocolates from nunu chocolates and some eco friendly, fabulous wine from Parducci. Details to come.
So there seems to be a lot of interest in this…
So I’m just going to come right out and tell you…
It’s completely natural.
What?! You don’t believe me? Jeesh.
One West Coast mama wants to know if this streaky hair thing is all the rage in New York City. I don’t think so. I just kind of like it this way.
If I’m going to spend the money to have it professionally highlighted, I don’t want it to look all I-was-born-with-this-hair. Now what would be the point of that?
Anyway, me and my cool or maybe not-so-cool hair were supposed to be on a local New York news station tomorrow to talk about my fave eco gifts for mother’s day. I don’t get paid by these companies. I just think they’re green and awesome. I was going to talk about cool stuff from Organic Style, nunu chocolates, eco-artware, Grounds for Change, Parducci, Joy by Mel Lim, Toby + Rei and Gardenia Organic.
But then me and my artificial hair and all my eco wit got dumped.
I was sad. But I get it. That’s showbiz. Segments get changed. When I was a booker/associate producer way back in my youthful twenties, I had to frequently cancel guests. Maybe it’s TV karma coming around to me.
I used to make ridiculous requests. I once had to ask a sickly guest if he could wear his oxygen tank only during the commercials because it would.. uh… look better on television if he didn’t have tubes coming out of his nose. Seriously. The poor guy was just trying to breathe. And I asked another frequent guest if she could please not wear the same orange down vest for the third time in a row. Did she perhaps own something… well… ANYTHING else?
Yes. Obviously karma.
was interviewed about raising kids in New York City. We talked about breastfeeding on the subway, letting your kids pee between cars and whether you should put your child in a taxi without a car seat. You can hear it all in the New York area this Saturday at 7:30 AM on 90.7 FM or via the web. Maybe if I can get my bad ass tech self together, I’ll put the webcast on the mama bird diaries.
As for me… now I kind of want my own radio show.
Of course, then no one could see my freaky, streaky hair.
mama bird notes
Thanks to New York City Moms Blog, my piece on plastic sugery, “Don’t Judge the Mommy Makeover” got picked up by newspapers all over the country including… the Miami Herald, the Modesto Bee and the News & Observer!
Contributing mama Daphne Biener is back in Colorado and has another humorous tale about life with her girls. Warning… you will crave brownies after reading this.
Have some ideas of great vacation spots in the United States? A mama could use your help. Click on askamama and share your brilliance.
Speaking of vacations, what’s your idea of the perfect holiday? Click on the poll and give us your opinion. And here are the results from our most recent poll…
You just won a free week long trip to London! Your hubby is staying home with the kids. So which gal pal are you taking along for your vacation? The Brit comes out big and these days Hillary is even getting beaten by Marsha Brady and Lauren Conrad. Oh Hillary, I’d holiday with you! Here are the results… Victoria Beckham (35%), Marsha Brady (18%), Lauren Conrad of “The Hills” (15%), Chelsea Clinton (12%), Hillary Clinton (11%) and Diane Sawyer (9%).
FINALLY…our mother’s day giveaway! Leave a comment on the mama bird diaries this week and you are entered to win this Lavender and Eucalyptus Bath Spa Kit from Organic Style. $80 value. I wish I could give one to every mum out there. This organic set combines the aromatherapy benefits of relaxing and soothing lavender with rejuvenating and refreshing eucalyptus. Doesn’t that sound just lovely?
I must have gotten my atheist father thinking with all my recent questions about God, life after death, and reincarnation. No, he wasn’t swayed by my brilliant arguments in support of a higher power and an afterlife.
But at least the guy is planning ahead. A couple days ago, I received a letter from him detailing the whereabouts of his Last Will and Testament, along with other important documents. He claims I won’t need this information until 2043 (when he’d be 100 years-old, by the way… nothing wrong with a little optimism). Somehow I’m thinking I will probably misplace this letter sometime in the next 35 years, but I’ll try.
The best part of the letter was the P.S.. He writes…
“When it comes time to do something with what remains of me, I’m fine with cremation unless you choose otherwise…. If you choose to have me in the ground, in a spot you could visit me from time to time (I would enjoy that), I’ve always liked the little cemetery near my house…”
So now suddenly, I’m not only imagining my father dead but I’m suddenly considering whether to cremate or bury him. Hot Flames vs. claustrophobic dirt. Heck, pour the margaritas and bring out the nacho chips and salsa because this is really getting super fun!
Interestingly, my dad, who believes there is no heaven, no afterlife, no reuniting with souls, no nothing… except that you cease to exist when you die, would still ENJOY a graveside visit.
Why is that exactly?
Is he hedging his bets? Just in case his spirit is still hanging around, he thinks it might be nice to see me stop by the old grave site once in awhile?
Dad, I’m happy to do it. Especially if the cemetery has WiFi. Oh, alright, even if it doesn’t. Because when you’re gone (many, many years from now please), I will miss you. I will deeply miss you and all your strong opinions. So I will go to your grave and I will sit there and I will talk to you and I know you will feel my presence and I will feel yours.
Oh wait.. there was a P.P.S. to the letter. My dad writes…
“I hope all this doesn’t creep you out too much. xo”
Well, a little bit.
But no, I guess not too much.
If you have no idea what I’m talking about… my post is below.
We headed to Rick’s Camp Harlam reunion this weekend. This is kind of how it went…
“Rick, so good to see you…”
“Rick-eeeee, my god, it’s been forever…”
“Rick, how the hell are you buddy…”
Repeat those phrases, in any order, about 8,000 times.
There were some very bored spouses. Like this guy…
But not me. I wasn’t bored. I had work to do. Like track down Rick’s exes. First, I found Tracy Gross. She was cute and nice. Tracy didn’t seem like she wanted to rumble at all for my man, which was a bit disappointing. Apparently, she is married with a son and a whole happy life.
Rick + Tracy (True Love Forever) dated for a camp summer. Here they are now…
And back in the romantic day…
And I found another hubby ex…. Missy Frankel. This is Rick’s first love. I had heard so much about this girl that she seemed like a celebrity to me. So I immediately snapped a photo of her which she definitely thought was kind of weird. I can confirm this because she said, “that was kind of weird.” See what I mean? Not hard to interpret that.
She, too, was very sweet and had absolutely no interest in cat fighting for Rick. Come on ladies! I thought we were going to rock this reunion! This Color War is so on. Or so not.
I finally lost track of Rick in the sea of cute and maybe-once-cute Jewish boys and focused on the food. After 16 cookies…
I was nauseous and ready to go home. And a speedy hour and a half later, Rick was too.
Meanwhile, our girls had a blast with Rick’s parents. I saw many photos of Dylan once again wearing nothing but my body hugging, belly sucking underwear, pulled up to her armpits, and my high heels. Completely awesome because it wasn’t enough that my babysitter saw it. Now my in-laws have gotten a close-up glimpse of my secret undergarments too.
So I asked my VERY BEAUTIFUL AND GENEROUS mother-in-law to PLEASE not email out the pictures.
She won’t do it… right?
mama bird notes
Another giveaway coming later this week mamas.