I was truly overwhelmed by the outpouring of support from all of you. There was so much honesty and kindness and courage in your comments. And it made an incredible difference to me. So thank you.
I immediately returned to a semi sinful life of espresso drinks, white wine and sushi. Well, to be totally honest, I never stopped eating sushi. But please don’t rat me out to my doctor. I’m not Wonder Woman over here.
The upside of totally feeling like crap is that my kids really don’t care. They need their snacks and they need help brushing their hair and they need me to fix that insanely high volume electronic toy that just suddenly went perfectly, blissfully silent.
So the frenzy of the day spins around us and it keeps me sort of preoccupied.
Today we visited the children’s library and picked out books to take home (four books in English and one in Spanish despite my insistence that I don’t really speak Spanish). But Dylan is undeterred by this inconvenient but apparently not insurmountable fact.
Our last visit, she took out three Spanish books so I’m actually making some progress.
As we are standing in line, waiting to check out, my 4 year-old says to me,
“Why don’t we just check the books out ourselves?”
“How do we do that?” I respond.
“Over here,” as she shows me the self check-out machine which I have never noticed before.
“But it says here you need a pin code. That’s a number you type in. I don’t know my pin code,” I explain to her.
“You get it from the lady at the desk,” she says patiently. When did she become patient?
And she is right. The woman at the desk can look up my pin code. And then Dylan proceeds to help me check out all our books. Apparently, she learned this from our babysitter.
Later that day, I ask Dylan,
“So now that you taught me how to check out books, what can I teach you?”
“A new way to walk,” she replies.
I mean, obviously. I feel so dumb that I even had to ask.
Hmm… Let’s see. A new way to walk…
“Well, I do have this fancy, fun walk I’ve been saving for a Democratic presidency.”
Yes, of course, I really said that. Don’t you know me by now?
And I showed Dylan this silly, spontaneous, super goofy, kind of embarrassing walk that made her laugh.
And me laugh.
And it felt like a start.
To moving on.
At least a bit.
mama bird notes:
Our contributing mama Daphne Beiner is now also a contributor for the new Rocky Mountain Moms blog! Congrats Daphne. But, of course, that means coming up with a bio. Damn, those pesky bios. Should she mention her bar shimmying skills or her home birth first? Click on contributing mamas to read more.
I recently had the chance to meet two awesome bloggers. I had coffee with the fabulous and model tall Denise from Eat, Play, Love. Despite my warnings to absolutely not venture uptown to battle the crowds at American Girl, she did it anyway. Which just goes to show, she really loves her kids.
And I also had the chance to grab some Italian food with the delightful Scrappysue of New Zealand. Somehow her husband and four beautiful girls allowed her to travel across the world to visit New York City. And we, here in the United States, are very grateful.
Last chance to enter the Votre Vu giveaway. Just leave a comment on the mama bird diaries and you are entered.
I pause a little bit before the maternity store, the one I always rush by without so much as a quick glance. A couple names whirl around in my head. I start to ponder what it really means to be of a family of five.
And then it’s over.
Just like that.
Before it barely began.
I was pregnant.
And now I’m not.
And I can’t believe how much I miss something that never really was.
Only a couple people even knew I was pregnant. It was so early. I would wait. At least a little while. Make sure everything was ok.
But then it wasn’t ok.
And now I’m just left here wondering why.
I’ve known so many women who have had miscarriages. And my empathy has always been deep for these mothers. To feel such a loss.
And now my compassion is even deeper. Now I understand just a little bit more.
And I just want to run out and do something, anything to get my mind off this.
But there is nowhere to go.
Nowhere I won’t feel this.
And now I’m just left here, with all this stillness in the air, all this potential that evaporated before I even had a chance to grasp it.
And I want to crush the sadness but I can’t.
And I want to end the longing but it’s there.
And that is where I am. For now.
And I squeeze my girls a little tighter and my gratitude for them is limitless.
At this point in October, I think many of us are suffering from pre-election anxiety disorder.
I haven’t found it on WebMd or anything but as far as I can tell, these are the signs…
You constantly check polls and a fraction of a point in the wrong direction overwhelms you with a deep, gnawing feeling of dread.
You find yourself watching extra loud, ultra annoying TV pundits when you have a perfectly good “Gossip Girl” saved on your DVR.
You spend hours obsessively wondering how anyone could support the other side and spend the rest of your time wondering how you will possibly endure the next four years if the opposing ticket wins.
Ok, so I’m not an actual doctor. But I don’t need a fancy shmancy medical degree to diagnose this disorder. I’m living it.
So here’s my plan for coping…
1. My new meditation mantra is, “There’s only 2 weeks left.” We can all conjure up some horrible time in our life that lasted way longer than two weeks. So c’mon! We’re not wimps. We can make it through the final stretch.
2. Begin meditation practice so I can use my new mantra.
3. Realize I don’t have time to meditate because that would leave me no time to check polls and watch TV news shows and curse the ridiculously biased NY Post.
4. Try to use diversion tactics like focusing on the Wolfman.
Who’s the Wolfman? Well, he’s this guy in England who lives with wolves. 44 year-old Shaun Ellis is so close to these animals that it’s apparently no big thang to “exchange playful tongue kisses with them.”
Now I’m sure you will be just stunned to learn that his wife dumped him (who wants to compete with a pack of wolves?). But unbelievably, he’s found himself a new girl – which just goes to show that even the dirtiest, lamest guys can find a girlfriend. Why is that?!
This girlfriend, now fiancée, had to eat incredible amounts of meat so the wolves would smell her, know she’s a carnivore and then accept her as a member of the pack. I swear. True story. You can see it all on Animal Planet.
And I don’t know about you but I haven’t thought about McCain or Obama in at least 30 seconds.
It’s at least a start.
mama bird notes:
This organic serum for sensitive skin will nourish, soften and strengthen your skin, giving you a natural defense against harsh environmental elements. Designed for the needs of sensitive skin. To enter, just leave a comment on the mama bird diaries this week.
And if you’re looking for a toy that might actually keep your kid occupied for more than 2 minutes, check out this interactive music station in “drooling over this.”
So when your dad comes into town from Cape Cod, you can peruse the Chelsea art galleries or maybe buy tickets to the recent Woody Allen movie or catch up on each others’ lives while watching the boats go by on the Hudson River…
or better yet
just make him phone bank for the Obama campaign.
Despite years of Democratic rantings, my dad hadn’t volunteered for a campaign since knocking on doors for Eugene McCarthy. Umm…. who? Yeah, that was 1968.
So he agreed on Sunday to end his 40 year hiatus and dive back into the political trenches.
If he was looking for gritty politics, this wasn’t it.
We arrive at a super posh, west village duplex that has an enormous wrap around balcony, with gorgeous views of the city.
We’re handed a list of potential supporters and given talking points. Oh and feel free to help yourself to the bottled water, fresh fruit and gourmet cookies.
Well, ok. Now I remember freezing my tush off in New Hampshire for Mr. Bill Clinton and I don’t remember anybody ever offering me any god damn gourmet cookies.
I am really nervous at first because of the whole cold-calling-strangers-who-might-be-really-mean-to-me thing. But you know what? After the first call, it’s all incredibly easy.
I call North Carolina voters and they are so darn nice. One woman says to me in the sweetest, most heavenly southern voice, “I’m sorry sugar but I’m voting for McCain.”
There is one little unfortunate exchange…
“Hi. This is Kelcey Kintner calling from the Obama Campaign. I’m looking for Gary or Pauline. This must be Gary,” I say.
“No, This is Pauline,” she responds in a gruff voice.
Oh. Sorry about that. I’m telling you, she REALLY sounded like a man. She/he is still undecided.
I am not afraid to use my womanly charms with the men either. Heck, it works for Sarah Palin.
And I’m certainly not above saying things like, “Arden Jones… Wow, that sounds like a movie star name.” Because it really does.
And I joke with them about how they are receiving millions of calls from the campaigns because they live in swing states and wouldn’t it have been great to be this popular in high school.
I reach at lot of Obama supporters and I have to say the whole thing is incredibly energizing. I encourage you to try it once. Come on. Once. Just click here.
There’s only two weeks left.
And there really is power in doing something.
Just ask retired U.S. General and Republican Colin Powell, a former Secretary of State for George W. Bush.
Because he just endorsed Barack Obama.
mama bird notes:
We have a mama bird giveaway this week! In this economy, yahoo for free stuff! It comes from my new advertiser, Votre Vu. See the Votre Vu banner over there on the upper left. Please kindly give it a click and check out this lovely line of skin care products from France.
Votre Vu is giving away their award winning Attentive Serum ($64 value). This organic serum for sensitive skin will nourish, soften and strengthen your skin, giving you a natural defense against harsh environmental elements. Designed for the needs of sensitive skin.
To enter, just leave a comment on the mama bird diaries this week. Good luck mama birds!
Man, politics is crazy ugly… even with Joe, the infamous unlicensed, tax-owing plumber, around to unite us.
By the way, I’m starting to regret that I impulsively and enthusiastically joined Facebook’s Joe the Plumber Fan Club.
But Joe aside, no matter who you favor in this political race, things are getting seriously stressful.
I feel so desperate to do something.
And I can’t really give any more money.
So after ignoring about 387 emails from Obama’s campaign (very persistent, committed folks who apparently don’t have small children), this line finally got my intention…
“In October of 2000, Al Gore had a double-digit lead in the polls. By Election Day, it came down to one state and a handful of votes.”
Honestly, now I want to throw-up.
So with this startling information and “Project Runway” now concluded (Leanne is the winner? Really?! With all those repetitive, monotonous wave patterns and her melancholy vibe?), I am going to sit down this week and call some undecided voters in swing states.
It’s not my favorite thing to cold call strangers but really, isn’t 4 years of the McCain/Palin administration just a hair worse? Plus, a friend told me that the older folks are just so happy to talk to someone.
That made me kind of sad.
And then a lot less scared.
If you also want to do something, visit here. Even Obama recently half joked about the Democrats, “Don’t underestimate our ability to screw it up.”
I will be glad when this whole election madness is over and I can go back to telling you all stories about my kids. Like 4 year-old Dylan who said to me this morning, “I need a new piece of toast because I only took one bite but then I got up to do some dancing and I lost my toast and now I have none.”
Oh Dylan, that happens to me constantly during breakfast.
But for now, as we continue to debate politics, there is one thing we can all agree on…
I had no idea that you all were such Paul Rudd enthusiasts.
Imagine my embarrassment that I’ve been going on and on about crushes like Joe Scarborough and Michael Cera when you really wanted to hear about the former bar mitvah dj from Jersey (yeah, yeah I do my research. Do you think I just phone this crap in?).
But really, I had no idea that Rudd would evoke such passion. So from this day forward, I promise to stalk the “Knocked Up” star on any and all future public and private school tours. You know, in a secret, super cool, stealth way. I won’t get myself thrown in jail or anything.
Is it my own political wishful leanings or does Rudd look like a Democrat?