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Are you doing this twittering thing? It’s a way to let friends know what you’re up to with one line, real-time updates. I want to twitter. I truly do but every time I attempt to fill in that box, “What are you doing?” I kind of freeze. Must think of something clever. Must come up with a tidbit that is smart and brilliant and fabulous.

I log off.

I’m such a sissy. Log back on.

I type in, “drinking cafe mocha.” Well, drat, that is so dreadfully boring that I almost snoozed off just typing it… even with the caffeine buzz.


I type, “Thinking about why Americans are paying for for Iraq’s reconstruction when Iraq is making billions in oil revenue.” Dang. I’m way over thinking this Twitter thing.


Be loose, be casual, whatever pops into my mind.

I type, “Do you think people pee in gym showers?” That’s such a gross thought. Not good. People will think I pee in gym showers.


Log off.

Make mental promise to twitter later.

Oh, can you help me with something else? Here’s a recent conversation with 3 1/2 year-old Dylan.

Dylan: I have boogers coming out of my nose.

Me: Honey, get a tissue. And please don’t call them boogers.

Dylan: What should I call them?

Me: (silence) Um….

Dylan: Snot?

Me: No, snot is not good. Um… I don’t know. Just say, “I need a tissue.”

So is there a nice, lady-like word for snot/boogers?

And while you contemplate the twitter and booger situation, I’ve got a tip for you:

When you go to the gym and get on the cardio machine and notice that all the tv stations are set to tortuously tedious, time-slowing channels like ESPN and CNBC, don’t attempt to fix the situation. Don’t grab a remote and try to change just one of the televisions to MTV because you will mistakenly change the entire row of televisions to Judge Hatchett.

This will really irritate one of the guys watching ESPN and a bunch of other cardio focused, intense New Yorkers. And they will only get madder when you can’t seem to change any of the tv’s back to the original stations and you have to abandon your Arc Trainer to get help from some Equinox staffer who’s as clueless about the televisions as you are.

By the time you’ve sorted the whole thing out and made your apologies, you only have a few minutes left to exercise anyway. So twitter this it’s best to avoid the gym altogether.

mama bird notes

Contributing mama Jordana Bales is due with baby #2 this week. Boy? Girl? Anyone have a feeling? She did finally spill her baby names and I’m pleasantly surprised at the choices of Obama (for a boy) and Hillary (for a girl). So timely and political. Oh, alright, those are probably not the names.

Contributing mama Alex is back with her beauty diary this week. Click on drooling over this to find out about a fabulous, reasonably priced skincare line (I use it too).

And don’t forget to leave a comment this week to enter to win the Toby + Rei giveaway. This 100% organic cotton lunch sack in pebble grey with cool robot graphic …


and this awesome 100% organic cotton tee, sewn in a sweatshop free environment. Pebble gray with orange + sky blue robot graphic. Size 2T



Rick and I noticed a mistake on our credit card bill the other day. Two identical charges in West Palm Beach for $26.61. On the same day. Minutes apart. Clearly, we were double charged.

So we called the credit card company and contested the identical charges. We are a bunch of way smart cookies over here. Don’t try to mess with us. Because we are too quick. Too brilliant. We know your moves before you do. We… wait, I just remembered something.



oh, and this one too…


Yeah, that’s 2 identical Elmo rolling backpacks. Each costing $26.61.

Hold on a second.

Rick, honey, can you call the credit card company and tell them we are no longer contesting those charges?

When we were in the Florida airport last month, we stopped at this children’s toy store to buy a pair of $5 kids’ sunglasses. But they were sold out. As we turned to leave, Dylan fell in LOVE with the Elmo backpack. Two minutes later, Summer wanted one too.

$50 bucks for 2 backpacks? That ain’t cheap. Well, they seemed to adore them. Plus, this might keep them happy at the airport. We caved.

Less than 20 minutes later, Dylan was begging me for a huge bag of mixed nuts at the newsstand.

Me: Dylan, we have tons of snacks. You don’t need the nuts. I already HAVE nuts for you in my purse.

Dylan: But I want THESE nuts.

Me (aka super clever mama): Ok, do you want to trade your new, awesome, kickin’ Elmo backpack for this bag of nuts?

Dylan (without pausing): Yes.

Me: What?! You’d rather have THESE nuts than the rolling backpack with all the cool pockets?

Dylan: Yes.

Me (stuttering): Well… um… sorry you can’t. Come on. Let’s go. We need to board the plane.

Dylan (sobbing): BUT I WAAAAAAAAAANT THE NUTS. You said I could have the nuts. YOU SAID!

Dylan never got those nuts. I know what I said but I’m not that much of a pushover.

So those backpacks have been sitting in the closet ever since.

Until today. I pulled them out and coerced the girls into playing with them for a whole 2 minutes.


Look how much fun they are having! Well, you can’t see their faces. But take it from me, they were having a BLAST. $50 bucks plus tax worth of fun, that’s for darn sure. Can’t get that kind of fun out of a bag of mixed nuts. Just can’t.

mama bird notes

Contributing mama Daphne Biener isn’t about to let some bully push around her kid. Click on contributing mamas to read more.

As promised, here’s another mama bird giveaway, courtesy of super cool Toby + Rei. The owners are dedicated to creating beautiful, eco friendly clothing for you and your babe. They even have a blog, focused on all things green and lovely.

Leave a comment this week on the mama bird diaries and you are entered to win this 100% organic cotton lunch sack in pebble grey with cool robot graphic.


and this awesome 100% organic cotton tee, sewn in a sweatshop free environment. Pebble gray with orange + sky blue robot graphic. Size 2T


Good luck mamas!


This week has been a whirlwind for me.

First of all, Rick can’t change any diapers right now because of surgery on his hand (He says this with a straight face so what choice do I have but believe him? I’m trying to be supportive here.). So that means I get dibs on all the diapers. Please, don’t be jealous. I realize how lucky I am.

And then something even better happened…

group-with-katie-2.jpgI met Katie Couric. I actually got to chill out with the anchor of the CBS Evening News. Beth Blecherman and Jill Asher of Silicon Valley Moms Blog invited a bunch of way cool bloggers like Petroville, RoleMommy and Baby-Faith to meet Katie. I, gratefully, got to come along as well.

And now I have a major girl crush. Because Katie Couric is just the grooviest. Normally, I make a point to dislike people who make 15 million dollars a year because they don’t need my love. Can’t they buy love? But you just can’t dislike this Katie Couric. She is just so smart. And funny. And authentic. And just nice. O.k. I’ll stop.

You can read more about my day with Katie here. Seriously, click on it and you’ll even find out her favorite reality show. No, it’s not the “Real Housewives of New York City.” Or if it is, she never admitted it to me.

So now, just like I poured my heart and energy into a full-on letter writing campaign to save “Party of Five” in 1994, I will beg you to start watching the CBS evening news.

Even Dylan is on board.


After my K.C. outing, I had the chance to karaoke it up with more fab bloggers like Mom-101, Mommy Poppins, Mums The Wurd and PunditMom. So thanks to Cool Mom Picks for picking up the room tab. Now despite the fact that I recently ripped up the floor at the Staten Island Roller Jam and f—ed some sh-t up playing The Fast and the Furious at the glorious Dave & Buster’s, I’m not really a shake it, shine in the spotlight, karaoke girl.

I love to punch in super awesome songs like Rick Springfield’s, “Jessie’s Girl.” Oh come on… you know she’s just lovin’ him with that body. But the programming of the song is sort of MY thing.

While others embrace the actual singing/performing thing…


And I did realize something else this week. Going out 3 nights in a row completely kicks my arse.

Dang. I remember in college I could keep it strong from Wednesday Ladies’ Night all the way until late night mugging with some hot Frat boy (or at least he looked smokin’ after 6 kamikaze shots) on Saturday night.

What the heck happened to me? Oh, maybe like 20 years. This 30-something girl is fried.


I am sitting in jury duty and thinking… this seriously rocks. Am I not supposed to like this?

I have my laptop, my Blackberry, a Starbucks grande cafe mocha and a NY Post. And no one is bothering me. No one is crying. Not one person here has asked me to take them to the potty, pick them up or get them a snack. Apparently, all these other potential jurors are impressively self sufficient.

Although I wouldn’t mind wiping one guy’s nose who keeps sniffling over there.

But I can’t stay.

I must delay this jury bliss because the City of New York needs a 2 to 8 day commitment and I’ve got some stuff going on… like my husband is recovering from skin cancer surgery (he’s recovering very well) and my father (my jury duty babysitter) has shingles (Thank you to my mother-in-law for high tailing it up here to fill in).

If that doesn’t convince them, I will simply explain that I’m really just too tired to serve because last night I was out late at the NYC Moms Blog launch party, meeting all sorts of super cool, smart women. But I have to be careful and not brag (I’m sure they make braggers serve jury duty) that I won an 8 piece Calphalon cookware set there, courtesy of Graco. I entered their contest by sending in a photo that captured, “A Day in the Life of a New York City Mom”

So, of course, I sent in this one…


of 3 1/2 year-old Dylan using the portable potty on the street. Ok, I kind of feel like I pimped out my daughter to win but those are some really kickin’ pots and pans. If you like to cook gourmet meals, please come over and make me something on my new Calphalon. Winning stuff is so cool. Ok, I promise, another mama bird giveaway coming soon.

I should have brought Dylan to jury duty. Because that girl can think of a brazen excuse to get out of anything. Here are a few of my favorites from the past week.

Me: Honey, I want to put this barrette in your hair.

Dylan: No, you can’t. Doggy likes me to wear my hair down. (Note to reader: Doggy is a stuffed animal who I don’t think has ever expressed much of an interest in hair styling.)


Me: Dylan, please zipper up your coat. We need to leave for school.

Dylan: I can’t. I have a baby in my belly (She sticks out her belly as obvious proof).

Me: Dylan, please finish your dinner.

Dylan: I can’t because I have a rash on my tushy… so I can’t eat my dinner.


Me: Dylan, let’s take Summer and go get coffee. It will be fun. We’ll take a walk.

Dylan: Oh I can’t. I have to put Summer to sleep in the hall. (Confused? Perhaps a photo will explain.)


I don’t really know what’s going on here but at least I prevented Dylan from moving any of our furniture into the hallway. And I did eventually get my coffee.

Even without Dylan by my side, I manage to convince the court folks to delay my jury service.

Court Lady: When do you want to come back… June, July, August, September?

Me: Oh, June is good. That’s the soonest? Alright then. Yeah, that would be just perfect. Really looking forward to it. See you then!


The first time I saw a cockroach at one of my fave kid-friendly restaurants in the West Village, I thought: No problem. What New York City restaurant doesn’t have a cockroach now and then?

So I kept eating there.

Then, one day at this very same establishment, I saw a mouse.

Now, this gave me some serious pause. Mice really skeeve me out. And the waiter didn’t even give us a mouse-in-the-house discount or a free dessert (one mouse = one molten lava chocolate cake) which kind of pissed me off. So I didn’t go back for months.

But they have very yummy mouse fish tacos.

Plus high chairs.

And lots of room at lunch time (although maybe the mouse situation has something to do with that).

And a great kid’s menu with more choices than the incredibly predictable chicken fingers and grilled cheese.

And I mentioned the fish tacos – right?

So finally… I returned.

And gosh damn it, I saw another cockroach in the women’s room. And then my husband (along with our shrieking daughter) saw another in the men’s room. I mean, how many live animals do you have to see at a restaurant before you call it quits?

For me: 3 cockroaches and 1 mouse. I’m done.

But I still think about the glory days at this place because I walk by it all the time on the way to my daughter’s preschool. Or should I say, I RUN by it on my way to preschool.

Am I the only one that is always running a few minutes late for school pick-up?

If I only could leave 5 tiny, little minutes earlier, I could casually stroll on over there. But instead, I’m pushing 15 month-old Summer in the stroller, like a crazy-fish-taco-deprived-mama-from-hell – desperately trying to get there for the 11:50 am pick-up.

When I’m about a block from the school, I can see this huge clock tower. The time on that clock momentarily determines my worth as a parent.

11:45 – I am an awesome mom! I just know I’ll be the first mom there. I wonder if they’ll elect me “Best Mom of the Day” when I get there. How could they not? They really should.

11:50 – Oh crap. I’m going to be a minute or so late. Totally mediocre mom but maybe Dylan won’t notice. Hi, I’m average mom.

11:55 – Worst mama on the planet. Guilt. Guilt. Guilt.

But then something came in the mail recently, that made me feel just a tinge better.

I just got a Christmas card from some family friends.


Postmarked March 24th. Yeah, that’s right. How bold is that?

These sweet folks are really really running late.

And now “5 minutes late” doesn’t seem so late at all.

kelcey kintner


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