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Nov
30
2013

I remember my mom wearing one of my sister’s bathing suits for a long time.

“Why are you wearing that? It’s so old and stretched out. Why don’t you get a new one?” I asked her.

I don’t remember what she said. She hates shopping so I’m sure that was part of it. And she probably just had other stuff to do and didn’t care all that much.

How was that possible?! I once spent 20 minutes just trying to decided whether to wear loafers or sneakers on a Saturday afternoon. My young self knew that image was everything.

Well, I lost my sunglasses a week ago and you can’t really live in Florida without them.  But because we are new to the area, I didn’t know where to buy a new pair. And I’ve had other stuff to do and I guess I just didn’t care all that much, so I’ve been wearing these…

kelcey in daughter's sunglasses

Yes, those are my 9-year-old’s sunglasses.

Red with rhinestones.

I wear them in the car.

To play tennis.

Dropping my kids off at preschool.

You see if I had close friends here, I would have been mocked enough already to buy a new pair. Luckily, I have my 9-year-old who just told me she wants her sunglasses back.

mama bird notes:

I wrote a big toy review for Alpha Mom. We looked at all the toys on the “hot list” and determined whether they were hot at all.  Check it out here.

Want to give me an early Christmas gift? Like the mama bird diaries on Facebook!


Nov
27
2013

Hey, it’s Thanksgiving! And Hanukkah! And Arbor Day! I’m not 100% on that last one.

Of course, it’s that time of year when we are grateful to not have an embarrassing video going viral and for so many other things. Like the fact that when I get on an airplane, I can relax in Juicy sweatpants instead of this…

gaga-lax-3

That’s what Lady Gaga wore at LAX before she boarded a plane. I mean, I’m not even sure exactly what’s happening there.

And I’m grateful that I have a friend that would send me a text like this…

funny text

I am also so grateful that this calendar exists…

2014calendar

I am dying to see the other months. (By the way, if you adopt a pet, please try to adopt one from a rescue league. Disclaimer: I don’t think that guy comes with the cat.)

I am also so thankful that I have a 3 year old who tells me every night how much he hates his dinosaur sheets and every morning that he really really really really wants dinosaur pajamas.

I am grateful that I finally know enough about parenthood that I know my kid doesn’t need a potty with an iPad. And yes, this is a real product.

iPotty from CTA Digital_650

Because it’s never too soon to start learning how to poop on the potty while you download apps!

I’m truly grateful to not be married to Alec Baldwin because although his is a very talented and funny actor, he seems like he gets really angry sometimes.

Finally, I am grateful for a house that is always exploding with love and chaos, a husband who I love very much despite the fact that he has more Twitter followers than me and for readers like you who make me laugh and inspire me everyday. xo

 


Nov
25
2013

My mother has been visiting and with the exception of when she went to our garage fridge at 1:30 am to get one of her “diet bubbly drinks” and set off the house alarm, things have been going pretty smoothly. (Sometimes when you wake up thirsty, water works. And as a bonus, the police don’t come.)

We have all really loved having her here. During her visit I have been testing out some toys for a future review on Alpha Mom. At one point, my mom heard me mention a couple of the toys and said, “Who are LeapFrog and Tabeo? The twins?”

Obviously from this day forward I will now always refer to Chase and Harlowe as Leapfrog and Tabeo. I wish I had thought of those names when they were born.

On Saturday night, we wanted to go out with some new friends in Ft. Lauderdale, so we asked my mother to babysit.

This was a little problematic because, with the exception of 6-month-old Cash, she goes to bed before all my kids.

The second problem is that she can’t operate a television. Or at least not our television. Because there are a couple different power buttons and a lot of channels. I distinctly remember being out at a restaurant once and Rick having to talk her through the TV controls as if he was managing an intense hostage situation.

We decided she should watch “Grease” with our older girls on the downstairs TV. And then upstairs, we left the TV on for later. At first, Rick wanted to put on some “Monk” marathon but I vetoed that based on that fact that I’ve never seen the show but it sounds weird and why did that same guy win an Emmy year after year anyway?!

Instead we put on a station that was showing back to back episodes of “Modern Family.” And bless her heart because she watched that show (with commercials) for the next four hours until we got home. We were very grateful.

And yes, of course she set off the alarm again the next morning.

She’s headed back to Connecticut today. I think the alarm company is really going to miss her.  So will we.

mama bird notes:

My review on Leapfrog, Tabeo and other hot toys of the year is coming up on Alpha Mom. Meanwhile, you can check out my baby monitor review now.


Nov
21
2013

I’ve been sort of on the edge of a nervous breakdown this week. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by all the heaviness and tragedy in the world that I can’t fix or even comprehend.

Then add in my own chaos at home. I love my children but why must they all request things AT THE EXACT SAME TIME. Plus, 9-year-old Dylan is once again very anti-Florida after her trip to New York and I vacillate between compassionately listening to her grievances and impatiently telling her to be grateful for all the wonderful things in her life like a home, a family and sunny 75 degree weather.

And then factor in my fatigue and well… that’s how you get to nervous breakdown territory.

So in case you’re having a rough week or even if you aren’t, here are some of the things that made me laugh…..

The fact that Kim Kardashian thinks this is an outfit…

Kim-Kardashian-See-Through-Mesh-Top-Lovebscott-0

That Martha Stewart, the queen of hosting, tweets food pictures that look like this…

BZTEht_CcAAMpK6

Screen shot 2013-11-20 at 10.18.40 PM

She can keep the salad and the onion soup lunch. Ugh.

There is even a Change.org petition to get her to take better pictures with her iPhone.

Another favorite item – pictures of people recreating their childhood photos. This is one of the best…

childhood-01-434x594

Finally, one of my friends in NY (let’s call her Daryl) sent me this…

Ryan Gosling coloring book

ryan gosling coloring book 2

Yes, that’s a Ryan Gosling coloring book.

Totally awesome.

Suddenly, I’m feeling much much better.


Nov
18
2013

Rick and my 9-year-old daughter Dylan went to New York this weekend.

I was left with 6-year-old Summer, the 3-year-old twins and 6-month-old Cash.

That sounds fair, right?

While Dylan hung out in NY with her very best friend in the entire world, Rick went to a Giants game with his buddies. And since they would be drinking, they arranged for transportation.

bus to Giants game

I have no idea why they rented just an enormous bus. I can only assume they thought they might run into the Radio City Rockettes who would obviously ask them for a lift home.

Meanwhile, I was dealing with this transportation…

kelcey at grocery store with kids

Have your kids ever convinced you to use one of these bus like shopping carts? The thing has zero turning radius and barely moves. I took out an entire Triscuit display before I had even started my shopping.

As we went down the aisles, I just kept shouting, “Watch out everyone! I’ve got no control over this cart!! It could go rogue at any moment.” It really is the Sarah Palin of shopping transportation.

Somehow I managed to get through my grocery list.  It cost me way more because I was in a total frenzy with all the kids. 3-year-old Chase kept asking me, “Is my swim lesson today?” One time would have been fine. 40 times was a bit excessive.

Summer wanted Ruffles and Pringles which I explained was completely unnecessary because they are pretty much the exact same foods. She explained how they are completely different. Something about the ridges. I told her to put one back. She did but I somehow ended up buying both.

Later, she packed both in her lunch. Along with a bagel.

Chase is also getting a lot of nutrition these days because he ate three packets of butter with a butter knife while I was eating at a restaurant with the kids. I pretended not to notice because I really wanted to finish my salad.

That is the same meal where Summer lost her third tooth in three days. If the girl needed money that bad, she should have just asked.  summer with no teeth



kelcey kintner


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