Our Contributing Mama Erin K. Butler is having a baby. Like probably today! While waiting for the good folks at Yale New Haven Hospital to induce her, she was sweet enough to submit this post.
BY CONTRIBUTING MAMA ERIN K. BUTLER
Three years ago I gave birth to a sweet pink bundle of joy.
I could dress her in the dreamiest of outfits and it was rare she didn’t look close to perfection. I scoffed at these other parents who allowed their children out in public in a mixture of snow boots, tutus and tank tops.
That would never be me. I had everything under control.
And then she turned 3.
Our fashion sense went from sweet to a little disturbing.
Combinations include snow boots, tutus and tank tops.
Katherine has even added her own flair, layering at all times as if she was preparing to hike Mount Kilimanjaro at a moments notice.
And as if my little fashionista wasn’t spinning my head enough, we are about to rock the household just a little bit more. We’re expecting baby #2 shortly.
My husband and I are elated, yet slightly terrified at the same time. Neither of us can remember how to actually care for a newborn, but are pretty sure there is very little sleeping and a whole lotta diapers involved.
We figured Katherine would be over the moon with this news as she squeals in delight anytime we come across a live one. And she was totally on board…until she asked, “Who will be the baby’s mommy?”
Uh oh. Guess we never covered that detail.
My response was met with an icy cold stare. Suddenly her wearing a tank top in December didn’t seem so bad.
While she has since bounced back and genuinely seems thrilled with her soon-to-be big sister status, my excitement is now mixed with an extra dose of guilt.
I worry about the time I will have for her with a newborn with 24 hour demands. If she will feel replaced. And how you go from giving all of your heart to one child to now two.
And this is all so silly because a billion-trillion women have more than one child. But still, I worry about the smallest things like coordinating feeding of the baby with preschool drop off and if it’s appropriate to make a newborn listen to the GLEE soundtrack because Katherine and I really do enjoy a good mash-up of Broadway tunes on the way to school.
So to cope with the impending change, I have thrown myself into nesting mode. Taking inventory of our batteries, purchasing an exorbitant amount of paper towels (like birthing this baby will create a chain reaction shutting down every TARGET in America) and scrubbing our bathroom nearly daily. Because we all know how much quality time a newborn spends hanging out by a toilet.
Finally, after months of trying to imagine life with two children, all I can come up with is that it will be much like when I had my first, blindly trying to find my way, but louder and with even less time to shower.
I have stopped trying to guess of how it might be, and instead, relish over Katherine’s baby pictures. Putting the present day tutus and tank top wardrobe out of my head and remembering the months of delirious exhaustion and the endless cycle of nursing, burping and diapering…but also the most magical moments like this one, that make me think, this will actually be ok.
And I can only pray to be this blessed again.
Erin did have a beautiful baby girl, Emily Kerry Lombardo!! Congratulations Erin. She’s gorgeous!