By Daphne Biener
And how about that food?! It’s so totally cool to travel to another country and eat in local restaurants every meal. The only problem? How to choose from the many enticing menus. In one square block we’ve got Rainforest Café, Hooters, Hard Rock Café, the Outback. Geez, I’ll be honest–by day three I couldn’t stomach the exotic stuff and this fearless family afoot in foreign lands settled in at the ever-familiar McDonalds.
What? Lose the sarcasm. Oh, come on – lighten up.
It is true. Last week we took our first family vacation. No weddings, no obligations, just the fab four of us in the sparkling waters of
Overheard in line at customs (slurred): “Come on honey (some drunk is talking directly to my four-year-old,
Overheard upon exiting the airport: Welcome to
Overheard poolside: Well Vern (names have been changed to strengthen my point), we sure do have to make it to the Walmart at least once don’cha know.
Overheard (not really, I suppose, since the super-sized, ultra-bronzed, man-breasted urologist was addressing moi in his Midwestern whine): That’s my beach chair. My brother Roger is coming and he’s going to deal with you. My beach chair. MINE.
Overheard in response to my constant derision regarding Isla de Concrete: You know, Mom, everything you think is yucky is actually bee-yoo-tee-ful.
Read, online at tripadvisor.com, prior to our trip: “The helpful staff at Senor Frog’s did get my 18-year-old daughter to be hung by her ankles, given a shot of tequila and spun in circles while they shot her with compressed air…” How young is too young for that kind of family fun? Come on, those Italians start drinking wine with their kids still in diapers. Wine, tequila, upside-down, right-side up, why argue details when the object is good times with the family?
Oops, there I’ve gone and slipped into sarcastic mode again. Luckily my isn’t-that-glass -more-than-half-full hubby is always on hand to snap me out of my self-righteous revelry.
Overheard in bed besides said incredible guy: “This is success. Kira (our 7 year old) swam off after a sting-ray;
Well golly gee Beav, smear me with SPF and pass me a Pina Colada. Keep talking that way and you’ll suck all the witty sarcasm from my sails.
So yeah, we are pretty lucky. No need to get all mushy about it.
You can read more of Daphne’s work here on the mama bird diaries or visit her site, Sestina Queen.