By Contributing Mama Jordana Bales
Last week I spent $650 on something that can fit into the palm of my hand. No, it’s not the latest iPhone, digital camera, GPS or an iPod (although when I told my husband, Michael, the price, he asked if it played MP3s!).
I bought an IUD. Version 2.0 (or maybe 5.0) is called a Mirena and it’s completely safe and effective.
When I was younger, I never really spent a lot of time planning a family. I was not the type of girl who dreamed of being a mother. I never played with dolls or fantasized about names. In fact, I thought I could be ok not having children at all.
I always wanted to want kids, but I never really had that craving. Intellectually, I knew my life would be better, more complete and satisfying if I procreated; however, in my heart of hearts, I just didn’t yearn for babies, like so many other women seemed to. I hoped that I would marry a man who wanted children, so I would have them.
Enter my husband. He comes from a family of three and has a very loving relationship with both his older brother and younger sister. There was no doubt he wanted children. My plan had materialized – I married a man who wanted children and soon after we had Ava.
Now, if I were playing blackjack, I would have stuck. However, Michael, early on in our marriage, told me “Don’t convince me to just have one child.” Note the brilliance of that statement. If he had said he really wanted two, I would have logically argued why one was so much better; citing studies as well as anecdotal evidence to bolster my opinion until he had no choice but to agree with me. But whenever I would begin to embark on the line of thinking, his words rang in my head. I had to respect the wishes of a man who gave me so much and asked for so little in return. And soon our second daughter, Lila, was born.
And all of a sudden having a third seems like something to consider. Is it my sleep deprived brain or the relief and happiness that follows from simply no longer being pregnant? I don’t know, but the bottom line is that I may want another. And that scares me a bit, because I know that if I don’t act – we could wind up with number three. Michael and I seem to be two fertile turtles and doing nothing would require another “I don’t like any names” discussion and a third college fund.
Enter the IUD (no pun intended). I definitely don’t want another kid for a bit – but I’m not ruling it out completely. My doctor says the IUD is good for five years – and I’m planning to get my money’s worth! So, maybe when Ava is 7 and Lila is 5, I’ll be ready for baby number three. And maybe not. I’m happy I made a decision – even if that decision is simply to postpone making a decision.