You can drive while talking on your phone while giving yourself a facial while working on an excel spreadsheet. That is all fine. Just don’t leave your trash can outside of your garage or you will be ticketed. Because Florida don’t put up with that crap.
Women work out in full make up.
These women also don’t sweat.
Every conversation somehow ends up a conversation about boob jobs.
Floridians are super serious about their Christmas decorations. Like if your lights don’t dance to the rhythm of specific holidays songs, just shut them off because nobody needs to see your amateur, half ass efforts.
79 degree weather means boots and sweatshirts. Maybe a light vest. I just felt a breeze. Better grab a coat.
No one has yet to say to me, “So what do you think of the Ukraine situation?” But probably in New York, nobody would ask me either.
Despite the humidity, everyone’s hair looks fantastic.
You must own sunglasses. And when you lose yours, you will be forced to wear your 9-year-old’s rhinestone pair. So you will buy a replacement at a local pharmacy. You will then break those and be forced to once again to wear your tween’s glasses. This situation will keep repeating itself.
You will wait 2 to 4 minutes at traffic lights. It will seem like an hour and a half.
You will start to wonder if Publix is some kind of mafia run supermarket chain because there is one in every single shopping center. But once you find out they give free cookies to kids at the bakery, you will no longer care about that organized crime connection.
Every bizarre national story you hear on the news will take place in Florida.
Despite bears attacking innocent women in gated communities, sink holes, alligators and George Zimmerman, it’s still 80 degrees and sunny.
mama bird notes:
Last chance to enter to win a 3 DVD pack from The Mother Company & Ruby Studios on friendship, feelings and personal safety. These videos are wonderful conversation starters between you and your kids. Read my review and enter by clicking here.
When television is done right, it truly becomes a creative, learning experience. And The Mother Company/Ruby Studios (a company that aims to help parents raise good people) know how to do good television. They are currently offering a 3 DVD holiday gift pack (which you can win below) featuring kids videos on feelings, friendships and safety.
Sure, all these videos have wonderful messages but would my children watch them? I sat 4 of my kids down (ages 3 to 9) and they became entranced. Host Ruby has a serious Mister Rogers vibe and all 3 shows are whimsical, creative and beautifully told through stories, crafts and children using their imaginations.
In all 3 DVD’s, kids learn very important things like how to handle a bully, how to deal with very angry feelings or how to protect their personal safety. The safety video is all about kids trusting their “uh-oh feeling.” Children are taught to recognize their instincts and make the best choices for their well-being.
All of these videos started great conversations with my children. Conversations that I meant to be having with my kids but perhaps were getting lost in the hussle of school, activities and bedtime routines.
Right now, you can purchase this 3-pack DVD set on friendships, feelings and safety for only $31.50 (normally $50) by clicking here. Also enter to win this 3-pack because it will make a wonderful holiday gift.
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2. Like The Mama Bird Diaries on Facebook.
This is a sponsored post for The Mother Company and Rubio Studios. All ideas are my own.
If you have a baby, that baby will likely fall off the bed.
I mean, it doesn’t happen to every parent. But it does happen frequently. This is based on statistical data collected from the files of I’ve-Just-Sort-Of-Heard-It-Happens-To-A-Lot-Of-Parents. It’s just that babies go from being pretty stationary to some sort of acrobatic navy seal in just a matter of minutes.
Luckily, babies are very durable and it’s usually the first time parents who suffer the most. First time parents already had their suspicions that no one should be letting them leave the hospital with an infant and now their baby rolling off the bed confirms their belief that they have no parenting skills whatsoever.
I usually leave 6-month-old Cash on the rug because this is my 5th kid and I’ve got to prove that I’ve learned something. But the other day, I had him on a twin bed and I actually said to 3-year-old Chase, “Watch Cash for a second. I’ll be right back.”
Now Chase has a lot of talents like eating chicken nuggets, throwing a ball and he’s really good at saying funny sh*t. Like recently, after we tucked him in, he came down and said, “Tomorrow when I wake up and then have a nice day. Then after that, can I have a hot dog?”
But I wouldn’t say Chase is the king of safety. In fact, he’s pretty much the opposite. And childcare might not be his calling either.
Because 3 seconds later, I came back into the room and and all I could see were baby Cash’s legs – sticking up between the wall and the bed. He had clearly taken a nose dive off the bed and got wedged between the wall and the bed.
I tried to pull Cash out but he was stuck.
(Afterward my twins reenacted me trying to pull Cash out.)
I panicked for a moment because I did not want to call Rick at work and say, “I know you have a 5 pm newscast but our 3-year-old was watching the baby and now the baby is trapped – No, don’t send a camera crew.”
So I quickly took action. I lowered Cash to the ground, pulled out the bed and easily removed him. He was completely unharmed. I apologized to my sweet baby. Obviously in my 9 years of parenting, I have learned very little but there is still hope. He smiled at me so it seems like everything is cool with us.
mama bird notes:
I am currently working with The Mother Company and Rubio Studios. The Mother Company is all about helping parents raise good people. They have some awesome DVD’s and books for children tackling topics like feelings, bullying and personal safety. I reviewed a 3-pack DVD collection that would make a wonderful Christmas gift and I am also giving one of these 3-packs away. Just click here to read my review and enter the giveaway. xo
This a time of year to feel grateful.
Like my friend who just sent me this text…
She is feeling really grateful for crackers.
At preschool, my 3-year-old twins were asked what they are grateful for. Of course, it was a lot of mommy mommy…
I assume that by “toys and Tommy Tommy,” they mean “our gorgeous, selfless mother.”
Well, at least they didn’t say mac and cheese.
Although in defense of Lexi and Justin, mac and cheese is pretty awesome.
Last year for Summer’s birthday, we asked for no gifts. Instead, we requested money ($10 or $15) so that Summer could spend half the money on a really special toy and give the other half to charity.
It felt weird to ask for money but it was less than someone would spend on a present anyway and I felt really good about my kids raising money for those in need.
Summer ended up collecting $80 to donate and we planned on giving it to a local community center that helps out disadvantaged families. Then life intervened. Rick got a new job, we had a baby, we sold our house, we bought a new house and moved to Florida. Recently, as we were unpacking, we found the envelope with the $80.
My two older girls, Dylan and Summer, asked what we should do with it. I said – let’s just buy a new iPod! Okay, what I really said was… Let’s give it to tzedakah at Dylan’s Hebrew school.
In Dylan’s Hebrew class, they collect money each week (called tzedakah) to donate to a charity. It’s part of a religious obligation to help those in need and each week the kids are encouraged to throw in a few coins. It doesn’t matter if you are rich or poor, you give whatever you can to help others.
So Dylan, Summer and I briefly discussed giving the money to tzedakah and then I kind of forgot about the whole conversation. I guess because I have 5 kids or something.
A few weeks later, I received a phone call from Dylan’s teacher who wanted to know if we had really meant to throw 80 dollars into the tzedakah box.
Dylan had just walked into class, put 80 bucks in the tzedakah box and sat in her seat. It wasn’t until the teacher inquired where the money came from that Dylan spoke up and said, “That’s from my sister Summer.”
That is all she said.
At which point, the teacher said, “Can I have your mother’s number please?”
I explained the back story to Dylan’s teacher. Turns out Dylan’s Hebrew class won an ice cream party for raising the most money and yes, Summer was the special guest.
Per our request, the money will be donated to children that are hungry. Did you know that nearly one in five children in America lives in households that struggle to put food on the table?
Can you imagine as a mother not being able to feed your children? Can you imagine that child trying to learn and function without sufficient, healthy food? It makes my heart hurt to think about it.
Summer’s 7th birthday is quickly approaching and although it feels funny to ask a bunch of parents that I don’t know for money instead of crappy Barbie dolls, I am going to do it.
It took nearly a year for that 80 dollars to find its way to the right place.
But it reminded me of the importance and power of giving.