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May
17
2017

Up to this point in my life – I don’t remember ever wondering what to do with my arms in photos. But I’m telling you – one day you will wake up and have no idea what to do with those long, gangly things hanging off your shoulders while you’re saying “cheese.”

I just went to Mom 2.0 which is an amazing conference for female content creators to connect and learn from each other.  There are talented writers, photographers, authors, entrepreneurs and self made millionaires.  It’s inspiring and amazing.

And lots and lots of photos.

And I didn’t always know what to do with my arms to maximize “optimum arm attractiveness.”  I don’t know why I just put that in quotes but obviously it needed to be done.

If you’ve been watching celebrities for the last decade, then you are very familiar with the bent elbow. I think I first noticed it on Paris Hilton years ago.

And it’s still popular because here’s Megyn Kelly doing it in a new publicity photo for NBC.

So of course my friend Nancy and I did not shy away from this technique.

Of course, there is the danger of going “way too far right angle” demonstrated by this polaroid shot taken of us.

(I’m so ashamed to even wonder what Paris Hilton would think of that.)

Or my pal Lauren does her own variation called the “tip me over and pour me out” arm pose. You can see it beautifully demonstrated here.

When it comes to arms, it’s also great to have an accessory… like a cocktail. Looks at my friend Liz with Andrew Shue (YES, THAT ANDREW SHUE) at Mom 2.0.

See how her cocktail presents the most perfect arm bend!

Or if you have a swing on hand, that works too.

Don’t my arms look lovely, as I enjoy the fake spring air at this Best Buy suite at the conference! If only I could drag a swing around with me everywhere I go.

Or another idea… get arrested! Because sure, it’s a bummer to get locked up and have to beg your family for bail but your arms will look fabulous.

If getting arrested seems kind of exhausting, then one expert suggests something called the arm tuck (especially helpful during group photos where your arm can tend to just hang out in space like some weird, misguided appendage).

Here’s how the arm tuck works. You put your elbows at your side and angle your palms forward or behind the person’s back next to you.

My friend Wendi is masterfully doing this in the middle here…

Just so you know, we touched up our highlights before and after this photo. And if they ever do an all blonde remake of Charlie’s angels, we are obviously nailing the audition.

So to recap how to have fabulous arms in ever photo (except selfies because I can’t even help myself there), here is the easy reference guide…

  1. Bend elbows like Paris Hilton but you’re obviously way more glam than Paris Hilton.
  2. Find an accessory like a drink, a gigantic Pier 1 swing or Andrew Shue.
  3. Get arrested and handcuffed.
  4. Place arms behind your friends backs (not to be confused with talking behind their backs or stabbing them in the back which is something evil and completely different.)

Your arms never looked so damn good.


May
08
2017

This post is sponsored by Luvs. 

My absolute favorite part of motherhood is the stillness. I know. What freaking stillness?

Well, take my nearly 4 year old son Cash. The kid takes on life in a very spirited way. And nothing really stops him. Like right now, he’s wearing casts on his feet.

A couple years ago, he stepped on glass. This was a very unfortunate moment. After two surgeries, doctors finally got the glass out but he would no longer step down on his foot. So after three months of physical therapy and three orthopedist consultations, he’s now in casts for 6 weeks to fix his walking. (My gosh, just that paragraph was exhausting.)

Now these casts don’t stop Cash at all. BUT THEY CAN NOT GET WET. And Cash likes to get wet. Like he was in his room playing the other day for about 6 minutes and suddenly I realize he has washed his stuffed monkey and coated the entire floor in water. Not really the ideal environment if you’re wearing casts THAT CAN NOT GET WET.

(At his point you’re thinking, didn’t Kelcey mention something about stillness?)

This kind of nuttiness goes on all day with Cash. And I would like to once again apologize to Trader’s Joe due to Cash’s insistence on a recent visit that he relocate their chips and dip sample table to another part of the store. Who knew those sample tables were on wheels? Cash apparently.

But by the end of the day, Cash actually sits down with me and we read books. And then I lay with him in his bed and he puts his arm around me and he is still. He just lies there with me, smiling and singing and chatting.  And it is the sweetest moment of my day. Because this boy.

I try to have moments like this with every one of my kids. Moments when we stop rushing around like crazy people. Whether it’s reading books or really listening to something that happened during their day or re-watching Gilmore Girls on the couch with my girls. Because Luke was HOT.

And yes, most of the time we are hustling out the door like madmen trying to get to school or I’m yelling about all the trash everyone leaves in the car, but it’s those sweet moments of stillness that I truly treasure.

And honestly, that’s all I really need on Mother’s Day.

Oh and money. And a trip to Paris. And a full time au pair. And a nap. And a personal trainer. And candy. And some sushi. And a time machine so I can go back to college for a few years.

But that stillness too.

____________________________________

Want to make your mother’s day even better? Leave a comment here or on my Facebook page and you are entered to win a $50 gift card from Luvs! So I guess you can get free money on Mother’s Day.

Want a chance to win more cash and prizes? Join the #ShareTheLuv Twitter party on Tuesday, May 9th, 9 to 10 pm EST. You can RSVP for the party here.

Also, find a $1 print-at-home coupon for a Luvs diaper pack by clicking here. In addition, you can look out for the paper on Sunday, May 28th, for a coupon offering $2 off any one pack or box of Luvs diapers.

Luvs Ultra Leakguard Diapers with NightLock Plus™  is the affordable diaper of experienced parents. We parents know they are softer and super absorbent – with large stretch tabs for easy fastening, ultra-leakage protection and a money-back guarantee.

See you at the Twitter party! Bring your own cocktails.

This post is sponsored by Luvs. All ideas are my own. 

 


May
02
2017

I’m always talking to my kids about karma in the world. I tell them – put good things into the universe and great things will come back to you. Does it always work? I have no idea. But it can’t hurt to put more positive energy out there.

I was recently standing in line at the airport, waiting to buy a snack. The line was long and there was a flight attendant behind me. I figured planes can’t take off without the flight attendants so I let her go ahead of me. She was very grateful and handed me a Southwest drink coupon. And then another flight attendant handed me a free wifi coupon. Wow. Karma is really working!

Eventually, I got on my plane and settled in to watch some dumb romantic comedy I had downloaded earlier. But at our cruising altitude, I realized I had no earphones.

I’m not going to tell you which child removed the earphones from my bag (mostly because I don’t know) but I wasn’t happy.

Well, they must have some on board! (Don’t ever assume this.)

I asked a flight attendant if they had any and she said she’d check. Meanwhile, she was taking drink orders. Since I was headed to New Orleans where I was going to have one or two or thirty frozen margaritas, I figured I didn’t need to start drinking on the plane. When I heard the guy in front of me order an alcoholic drink, I handed my coupon to the flight attendant and said, “I don’t need this. He can use it.”

(Because what better way to ensure the plane has headphones than give my drink coupon away!!)

So the flight attendant said to the guy, “The girl behind you wants to buy your drink.”

OMG. I can’t even see this person and now the flight attendant has me trying to date him.

She sort of immediately realizes this and continues talking. “I mean, she has a drink coupon she doesn’t need. She doesn’t want your number or anything.”

Okay, I guess that clears it up.

So then I sat back to be thanked graciously by the guy in front of me and to be rewarded with headphones. Well, he never even bothered to turn his head and thank me (but in his defense it is very exhausting to turn one’s head) and then the flight attendant came back to tell me that they had no headphones on board.

What is happening here? Did karma fly standby and not make the flight?

With no way to watch my dumb romantic comedy, I read for a bit and then decided to get up and pee. As I was waiting for the bathroom, I chatted with the flight attendant. I expressed my sadness at not having headphones. I’m sure she was very moved by this sad, tragic  story.

She starts fishing around in her apron pocket and unbelievably pulled out a little crushed bag of headphones that she didn’t even know was in there.

Karma did make the flight!

The headphones didn’t work all that well but I was so grateful for the rest of the flight.

It just never hurts to put a free drink coupon (AKA good energy) into the world.


Apr
27
2017

Remember when you read (okay skimmed) all those parenting books and there was a lot about swaddling and pacifiers but not much about what to do when you’re on a plane and your baby throws up on the person next to you?

Finally, there is a a new parenting book called, But Did You Die? – a hilarious collection of stories – that gives you the advice you really need. And will make you feel way better about your own parenting.

As one of the authors Michelle Back perfectly explains, “These are the missing pages from that other parenting advice books.” This anthology was put together by New York Times best selling author and blogger extraordinaire Jen Mann. (It’s the 5th book in the bestselling I Just Want to Pee Alone series.)

And I’m in it too! Yup, I tell a cringe worthy story about my first baby Dylan with some major takeaway advice you will definitely appreciate.  Basically I lived it so you won’t have to.

But Did You Die? will be published June 11 and pre-sale coming soon. If you want to know when it’s ready to order, just click on my Amazon author page and hit “follow.” 

So forget all the other dumb parenting crap you’ve read. We’ve got you covered.


Apr
16
2017

Is there seriously anyone on the planet who doesn’t love Judy Blume?! Because if there is – I’d like to meet them. Just to find out what is wrong with them. Because Judy Blume is the definition of a national treasure.

She’s also one of those people that you have to say her whole name every single time you refer to her. I don’t know why. It’s just the way it is.

I adored Judy Blume’s books as a kid and I’ve loved reading them to my own children. We were just in Key West and we found out that Judy Blume has a bookstore there. In fact, she’s lived in Key West for more than 20 years. My 10 year old daughter Summer asked if we could go to the store and we said, “No, we’d rather go on a booze cruise.” Ok, kidding. We said, “Of course!”

All I really wanted from the visit was to get in and out of Judy Blume’s bookstore without my nearly 4 year old son doing some major redecorating. And by redecorating, I mean destroying.

Judy Blume’s husband was there and before we knew it, he called his wife Judy Blume and she was coming over to the store. JUDY BLUME WAS COMING OVER TO THE STORE. Do you think her husband thinks to himself – holy crap, I’m married to Judy Blume! Probably. How could he not?

So how do you prepare to meet the amazing, iconic Judy Blume?! While we waited, I read to my kids because they asked me to and because wouldn’t Judy Blume be impressed that I was giving my children the gift of literature and learning.

Within 15 minutes, she had arrived. JUDY BLUME HAD ARRIVED.

We loved chatting with her. She was so chill. And mild mannered. She doesn’t write books anymore, instead runs her bookstore. As she put it, “Fifty years is long enough to write books.” The woman is 79. She looks damn good.

Cash got to hang with her a bit and I can only assume he was bragging about how he had not destroyed her store.

We talked about one of my all time favorite characters Fudge who is utterly obsessed with money (just like my son Chase). The character is based on her grandson who like many children thought the way you get money is just from going to the ATM. Who needs a job? Money just comes out of that machine!

It seems like everyone had a Judy Blume story. A certain book. A specific character. A moment in life.

This is now my Judy Blume story.



kelcey kintner


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