Skimming through old journals is basically a requirement of packing 101. I noticed all my journals pretty much go like this…

Jan 14th, 1996 Met this cute, funny guy Dave at a dinner party but he was wearing a weird leather vest and he’s kind of short. I hope he calls me.

Jan 18th, 1996 Why hasn’t Dave called?! I am SO bummed. I thought he really liked me.

Jan 19th, 1996 He called! We’re going roller blading and seeing a movie this weekend. I can’t wait. I have a really good feeling about Dave. I told him not to wear the vest.

March 14th, 1996 I’ve been seeing Dave for awhile now but I don’t know, he kind of annoys me sometimes.

March 23rd, 1996 Dave is history. He has this high pitched laugh and always use the faux word, “anywho.” It’s maddening.

April 2, 1996 Met this totally cute boy in my building named Scott. I really hope he calls…

So as you can see, I have an extensive written history of my 20′s except that it gives no insight whatsoever into my hopes and dreams and thoughts on the world. All you can really glean is that leather vests and the word “anywho” totally rubbed me the wrong way.

Meanwhile, I’ve been driving a lot around the city (I think it’s my subconscious way of preparing for the suburbs). So I’ve been listening to a great deal of pop radio. I’m totally digging Kelly Clarkson’s song “My Life Would Suck Without You.”

And I can’t help but bop along with 3OH!3′s “Don’t Trust Me.” The song is so catchy but the lyrics are so ridiculously offensive…

“Shoosh girl, shut your lips,
do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips.”

I mean, seriously.

Poor Helen Keller. That brilliant woman accomplished so much and she’s still being terrorized by musicians in the 21st century.

By the way, I now know that the band 3OH!3 is pronounced “three oh three” and is named after the Boulder/Denver area code.

I am going to blow away those Westchester moms with my musical coolness.

Anywho, I have to run and pack.

That word still totally bugs.

mama bird notes:

Win free ice cream!! As you know, I’m running a super delish giveaway in the month of June from the fabulous Blue Bunny^® ice cream!

Each week, one mama bird reader will win a carton of ice cream (plus one pack of novelties from the Blue Bunny^®menu) delivered to their door every month for a year! I know. It’s like a dream. Free ice cream for a whole freakin’ year. Or you can also opt for lighter options like low fat ice cream or frozen yogurt.

To enter this week, just leave a comment on this post and tell me your favorite flavor of ice cream and whether you and your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend/dog/bestfriend/doorman like the same kind. As for me, my husband like chocolate. I like mint chocolate chip. But somehow we still make our relationship work. I don’t know how we do it.

Good luck ice cream lovers.

Here are the winners of “Weeds” (Season 4): Becky, Nancy Walton and Melanie won the DVDs! Congrats ladies. Just send your name and address to Kelcey@mamabirddiaries.com.

My husband is just a chronic overachiever. I don’t know why he’s so intent on making me look lazy.

First, the Emmy.

Then The Daily Show appearance.

And now he’s gotten himself on freakin David Letterman.

See if you can find Rick in this montage of news anchors butchering Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor’s name.

At first Rick thought, “Hey, wait a minute…I DID pronounce Sotomayor correctly.”

Which is totally awesome and true except for the tiny detail that her first name isn’t Susan. It’s Sonia.

Man, do they expect these news anchors to get EVERYTHING right?

Rick, who rarely makes a mistake on air, was so psyched to be on Letterman (a show he’s been watching since he was 12) that I’m not sure he cared what he called the future Supreme Court Justice.

Plus, I hear her friends call her Susie anyway.

mama bird notes:

I have another giveaway for you all this week. I know, it’s like Christmas around here. I’m giving away Season 4 of Showtime’s “Weeds.” The show, staring Mary-Louise Parker, is so incredibly awesome and season 4 was actually my favorite.

Mary-Louise Parker? SO TALENTED. Hunter Parrish? CUTE. Justin Kirk? CUTE AND HILARIOUS. To enter, just mention “Weeds” in a comment.

Another Blue Bunny^® ice cream giveaway coming on Monday!

And finally, are you a creative type that would love to win $2,500?! Ivy Worldwide (formerly Buzz Corps) needs a new logo and the winning design will win $2,500. Other prizes include the HP Mini and the HP Printer. Click here for details on how to enter.

You know what’s totally ridiculous about moving?

Getting nostalgic about dumb crap.

Like the other day, I was driving through Manhattan and I was looking at all the different kinds of people… every race, every religion, every individual style, all coexisting together in one cool urban oasis.

I swear two weeks earlier I was like, if one more person steps in front of my car to cross the street when I have a green light, they’re effin finished.

Or feeling a wisp of sadness that I won’t see the completion of the two mammoth construction projects on our little cobblestone block.

Yeah, the same construction projects that are so bloody loud they just woke Summer up from her nap.

And even our enormously aggravating super, with his stained t-shirts and the little pieces of food jammed in his wiry mustache, somehow seems a little less aggravating and a bit sexier.

Meanwhile, we’ve been totally stressing about the packing thing. Don’t confuse that with actual packing. Right now, we’re just focusing on the stressing part.

How can I pack when I’m way busy watching, “The Fashion Show?” If you don’t watch, it’s Bravo’s “Project Runway” knock off after losing “Project Runway” to Lifetime.

The show is just terrible, with designer Isaac Mizrahi always parading around in the WORST outfits. How is this guy a famous fashion designer?

And the hosts (Mizrahi and some chick I’ve never heard of whose body is ridiculously perfect) throw out the dumbest, corniest lines like, “Sorry, we just aren’t buying it,” and the even more insufferable, “You’re hanging by a thread.”

I mean, do the hosts get a bonus or something  if they use the most fashion puns?

Honestly, it’s so incredibly painful to watch.

But of course, less painful than packing.

Please tell me that no one thinks I’m actually hot for my super. Maybe I’ll try to snap a picture for you.

mama bird notes:

Nap Warden won a year of free ice cream from Blue Bunny^® ice cream! Congratulations!!

If you didn’t win, you’ll have another chance next week because I’m hosting the Blue Bunny^® ice cream giveaway the entire month of June. Yahoo!!

Thank you to TURNITUPMOM for featuring me as part of her “Me Time” for Mom post. Click here to check out some great ways to spend your Me Time.

For all those who thought my father-in-law Zaydie was um… well, I guess I’ll let you say it.

“Zaydie is hot!” (Portia)

“Zaydie is cute!  Single?  ” (Becky)

“And Zaydie…not only is he a brave chaperone, but a quite handsome one too.” (Auds at Barking Mad)

“Handsome Zadie” (Chris)

I’m sure you’ll completely understand if I don’t weigh in on my father-in-law’s hotness. Oh my gosh. That was embarrassing to just write. And I don’t want to disappoint any ladies out there but yes, there is a grandmother (Bubbie). And yes, she’s adorable too. Look at them.

Meanwhile, after Zaydie chaperoned Dylan’s class trip to the aquarium,  Marinka had the audacity to suggest that maybe they never went to the aquarium at all.

“How come there are no pictures of the fish? This sounds like a huge scam to me. I think he just took the girls to Central Park. Or to a bar.”

Oh Marinka, here’s your proof. In your face.

Ok, well these pictures MIGHT have been taken at the window display at the Ralph Lauren store in the West Village.

But whatever. Fish are fish. I’m sure the aquarium was totally the same.

When not at the aquarium or the Ralph Lauren store, Dylan pretty much spends her time at the playgrounds now that it’s finally warm.

We often bring toys for the sandbox and they end up scattered around and we go on a search and rescue mission before we go home.

But the other day, we could not find our plastic, green crab.

We looked everywhere. We were about to abandon our crab toy when Dylan finally found it under one of the jungle gyms. She started loudly shouting…

“I have the crab! I have the crab!”

which unfortunately sounded very much like “I have crabs! I have crabs!”

Which seemed so enormously inappropriate for a 4 1/2 year-old to be screaming. Or anyone for that matter.

Poor green plastic crab. Never meant to cause so much trouble.

Maybe we should find him a nice home at the aquarium. Or the Ralph Lauren store. Crustacean choice.

mama bird notes:

I’m running an awesome giveaway in the month of June from Blue Bunny^® ice cream! Each week, one totally lucky mama bird reader will win a carton of ice cream (plus one pack of novelties from the Blue Bunny^®menu) delivered to their door every month for a year! Yes, that’s right. Ice cream for a whole year. And the winner can mix it up or get the same kind every month.

And if you haven’t tried Blue Bunny^®, it’s super fabulous with cool flavors like Monster Cookie, Homemade Turtle Sundae and Bunny Tracks. And I heard Bunny Tracks leaves Moose Tracks in the dust.

To enter this week, just leave a comment and tell me your favorite or funniest memory of ice cream as a kid. Or you know, for the very lazy, just write, “I scream for ice cream.”