1. My husband joined twitter. Which I guess means I should stop tweeting about all our marital secrets. I just know he’s going to go all Ashton Kutcher on me and have a gazillion followers while I’ll be left in the Demi dust.

2. We signed a contract to sell our apartment. Which means no more open houses which means very soon I can stop having the following conversation with Dylan:

“Hey mom, where are all the shovels and pails for the playground?”

“In storage.”

“Where’s my bicycle?”

“In storage.”

“Where’s Summer’s bike?”

“In storage.”

“Where’s my scooter?”

“In storage.”

“Where are my roller blades?”

“In storage.”

“Where’s Summer’s potty?”

“In storage.”

“Where’s the Sesame Street potty seat?”

“In storage.”

“Where’s my chalkboard?”

“In storage.”

3. And today, I got a flat on my double stroller. So I pushed it for 25 sweaty, heart pounding minutes to the bike shop. I’m positively, absolutely sure this took the same amount of effort as pushing a car with a flat tire for 25 minutes.

The bike shop fixed it for $17 bucks.

Which seemed like a real steal until I got another flat on the same tire about 6 hours later.

New York City, you’re starting to make it easy to leave you.

I’ve been a little bummed out lately. You know, with former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich being barred from leaving the country to be on “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here.”

I think we can all easily agree that it’s totally worth the flight risk to see him in the Costa Rica jungle competing against contestants Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag.

Blagojevich would have kicked their arses to the hills.

So I was hoping a night out with friends would be just the thing to cheer me up and get me out of my Blagojevich funk.

We ended up at this cool, rooftop bar with incredible views of the city and… Snuggie Sleep Blankets?! (And if you don’t know what Snuggie Sleep Blankets are, you need to get your priorities in order and spend more time on your couch watching late night commercials.)

It appeared that a number of patrons at this place were wearing these red, Snuggie inspired, fleece bathrobes.

Really? In New York City? Where the new black is… well, still black.

Yes, this swanky rooftop bar hands them out to anyone who’s cold. Or anyone who thinks their rap with the ladies could be enhanced with a fleece robe.

And because I don’t want to be left out of any new trend…

And because I like to make my husband suffer along with me…

So when the “bright red evening robe” comes to a hot spot in your area, you will be completely in the know.

You’re welcome.

mama bird notes:

I took part in the March of Dimes walk this weekend in memory of two beautiful children, Jake Taylor Pontz and Madeline Alice Spohr. Thank you to Marinka for organizing and everyone who was a part of it.

This week I got invited to the Smart Cookie Awards, hosted by Cookie Magazine. I was excited because Cookie is a cool, stylish parenting magazine and because I would finally be able to wave my Smart Cookie award in my husband’s elitist Emmy winning face and show him he’s not the only star around here.

Of course, I didn’t actually win a Smart Cookie award but I hoped he’d be too drunk by the end of the evening to notice such a minor detail.

So who did win? Women whose maternal instincts to love, nurture and protect have gone way beyond their own families, as they’ve reached out to help mothers and children across the globe. Debra Messing, Uma Thurman, Judy Woodruff and Salma Hayek were among the winners.

Salma Hayek was not there to accept her award which was actually a bit fortuitous because she’s Rick’s celebrity crush who long ago, I gave him a free pass to hook up with. You know, not thinking that he might actually run into the actress one day.

Maybe she skipped this awards ceremony to avoid instigating marital strife between Rick and me. Or maybe she just had a scheduling conflict.

All the winners highlighted their nonprofit organizations and it made me feel pathetic because I’ve totally given up volunteering since becoming a mom.

I think I first started volunteering in my twenties because some knucklehead told me it would be a good way to meet single guys.  But I quickly realized all the guys were at the sports bar watching the game, and not teaching senior citizens macramé.

Despite the lack of eligible men, I still volunteered a great deal. But then I  lost my good deed mojo once I had a crying baby at home. Now I realize, I need to get my arse back in gear.

At the Cookie ceremony, I was particularly touched by the work of Unicef, an organization trying to prevent mothers and babies from dying of tetanus in remote parts of the world.

One of the organization’s honchos told a story about a baby who was dying of tetanus and could have been saved by medication costing less than two dollars. Instead, he lay alone dying because tetanus makes you very sensitive to light and touch, so his mother couldn’t even hold him as he passed away.

That is just unacceptable. By getting vaccines to these places, tetanus could be eliminated within 5 years.

I seriously had tears rolling down my face through the whole ceremony as each of the seven winners talked about their causes… including the homeless, youth AIDS and children with birth defects. And I’m not the crier in this family. Just ask Rick. Oh wait, he’s sobbing through a surprisingly emotional “30 Rock.” He’ll get back to you.

After the ceremony, I felt like I had been cleansed em0tionally. I absolutely promised myself to start volunteering again. Because someday, I want one of those Smart Cookie awards. Or an Emmy. Or maybe a stained mug that says, “World’s Best Mom.” I realize I need to be flexible.

mama bird notes:

I was spotted by 1-800-flowers.com! The company sent me a beautiful, fair trade certified bouquet. And just in time for Mother’s Day. How sweet. Thank you.

If you order from 1-800-flowers.com, you can get 15% off with this coupon code: SPOTAMOM.

I made the the Moms at Work virtual nightstand at the Orlando Sentinel! I’m so honored. Thank you so much.  Click here to check out what else they’re reading.

Finally, if you are following my 23andMe journey, here’s an excerpt from my latest post: Does My Baby Have Down’s Syndrome?

“When I was pregnant for the first time, I was sort of clueless about all the tests involved. When my doctor first mentioned the Nuchal scan, I had never heard of it. But it sounded like a good idea….”

To read more, visit 23andMe.

So I got this email recently from a PR representative.

In celebration of Earth Day, the company Sylvania is promoting its compact fluorescent light bulbs  – by driving a Mister Softee truck around Manhattan, giving out ice cream and product coupons.

These CFL eco-friendly bulbs last 12,000 hours, apparently saving the earth and money at the same time.

12,000 hours? Ok, those sound like some really cool bulbs.

But what the hell is up with DRIVING an ice cream truck all over Manhattan in honor of Earth Day? Can you think of anything less green? Maybe tossing  McDonald’s take-out trash out the back of the truck as they drive around, wasting fuel and polluting at the same time?

Since I’d rather unveil hypocrisies than fold laundry or do dishes or clean up our apartment, I write the PR rep today and include the following question…

“Wasn’t there a more eco-friendly way to spread your message about eco-friendly lightbulbs?”

And she responds…

“Thanks for the feedback. We tried to get a a hybrid truck, but unfortunately it didn’t work out. We wanted to take the opportunity to educate people about the benefits of Sylvania CFLs on a day when energy-efficiency is top of mind as well as treat them to something they would enjoy and people have been excited so far.”

For the moment, I’m going to put aside my rage over ice cream trucks in general that park outside of the playground just around dinner time to ensure that my girls leave in hysterics when I won’t treat them to a chocolate cone.

Earth Day is not supposed to just be a promotional tool. Ask Lewis Black of “The Daily Show.” He was just ripping on “Sesame Street” because of the extra, unneeded packaging on their new Elmo “Being Green” DVD that is meant to teach kids to be less wasteful.

Even though Elmo is still God in my house and I love Sesame Street for making the green effort, Lewis Black is right. So right. Almost 1/3 of the waste generated in America is packaging. True story.

And I think this company, Sylvania, could have worked just a bit harder to actually demonstrate their commitment to the earth, rather than giving off the impression that they are just trying to sell lightbulbs.

Earth Day is not supposed to be about selling stuff. It’s about figuring out ways to protect this earth that we are somehow so intent on destroying.

I know I’m not alone in trying to make a difference. I rarely accept a plastic bag. I’m basically drowning in eco-friendly totes over here.  I recycle like a mad woman and try to conserve energy whenever I can.

If companies want to be part of the solution, they need to show some smarts, leadership and commitment. Because a free ice cream cone ain’t going to do it.

mama bird notes:

Move over Cinderella. Princess Bubble is here. You are going to love this modern day fairytale where  a prince is not a prerequisite to living happily ever after.  Click on drooling over this to read more.

I truly enjoy all the princess madness… the gowns, the glitter, the tiaras. I love watching my girls dress up and I’ll be totally honest, I once tried to squeeze myself into one of their gowns. Turns out, I am not a toddler size 5.

But I just loathe those needy princesses. You know the ladies. Cinderella, Belle, Sleeping Beauty, Ariel and a few others who must be saved by a prince to live happily ever after.

This is why I avoid reading my kids the princess stories and they don’t watch the movies. I want better role models for my girls. A bit more “Free To Be You And Me” for their glittery imaginations.

And finally, Princess Bubble showed up. It’s about time. This gal is no damsel in distress. She travels the world, helps others and finds “happily ever after” before her prince ever shows up. It’s not anti-Prince Charming. It’s just that Princess Bubble  knows how to put on her “thinking crown” and take advantage of life’s amazing opportunities.

The book is geared for all ages and I definitely found myself laughing at a couple lines. I can’t wait to read more of her next adventures.

Available on Amazon. To buy click here.