By Contributing Mama Daphne Biener

Ah the joy of camping. Oy the pain of camping. I did my fair share of grousing and grumbling as I packed up the car and the kids this past weekend for the annual camping trip with friends. But then suddenly there we were: the great outdoors.

What I always forget about the great outdoors is this: Once the hassle of getting there is behind me; once the kids are en-fleeced and the s’mores are smokin’; once I’m finally there—there I am, totally and completely. No email to check. No last minute runs to the grocery store. Nothing to do but sit by the fire and watch the kids as they run free as fairy wood nymphs.

Ok, I’ll be straight: nothing to do in the great outdoors isn’t exactly the same as doing nothing in the great outdoors. Sit idle for days on end? Are you kidding? We were busy little campers…

We went rock climbing…

When I say that our friends Shelley and Brian are active I mean that these nutty folks scamper up the vertical face of a cliff faster than I can order a double latte. And they had somehow gotten it into their bruised noggins that the time had come to get the Bieners up the rocks. So up on the rocks we went. It was great. Turns out hubby Dave and seven year old Kira are strongly versed in the ways of the mountain goat.

Acadia and I put in a respectable effort. We are more strongly versed in the law of gravity.

And we went fishing…

Remember years ago when your mother dragged you down to Sears for a pathetically posed portrait in front of a cheesy screen of a fabricated lake and snowy peaks? Well, that place exists and it really is that beautiful. It is where we took the brood to splash around and scare up some fish.

Day one the haul was hefty but the timing off—the fish and the s’mores came off the fire simultaneously. Important parental tip: do not attempt to extract a gooey marshmallow and replace with a forced taste of fish, no matter how fresh the flipper.

Day two: My successful fisher-gals (tree-huggers who love the thrill of hunt but less so the fishy-fruits of their labor) and I discussed the merits of catch and release.

Sitting. Ahhh, sitting.

I am an active gal. A real get-up-and-go-getter. The unfamiliar ache in my armpits from clinging to a jagged rock really was special. And pulling trout from that insanely perfect lake touched me deep in my inner John Denver.

But the sitting? Oh, the sitting. I finally flexed that vestigial relaxation muscle. I sat, and did a whole bunch of not much. I watched for shooting stars. I toasted a marshmallow (ok, eighteen marshmallows.)

Yes, I know that I have tried to defend the crazy schedule of a day in our typical life, but I’m no dummy. Sitting around the fire while exhausted children sleep cozy in the tent; laughing with friends and listening to the crackle of sap bursting from burning wood; these are moments of memory-making. Ones I hope my children hang onto forever.

And those moments? I was in them. Really, really in them. I’m hoping that this tall glass of appreciation I’m sipping lasts me a while. At the very least three weeks; that’s how long I’ve got before this wagon heads west for our next camping expedition.

There comes a time when a family needs more than city cement, incredible restaurants and burlesque shows to survive. That day has come.

So we decided to go Folbaum family road tripping to the country. Bucks County, PA or bust - or maybe a brief stop because Dylan has to poop.

Buck’s County is quaint and countryish (It is too a word! Or at least sort of a word.) and green and awesome.

We saw a “Duck’s Crossing” sign. No ducks but the sign itself was really enough of a thrill.

At one point, Rick and I had a conversation that went like this…

Me: That woman we just passed was doing some kind of interesting gesture with her hand. Did she want us to pull over or something?

Rick: I think it was a wave. I think everyone here just waves at each other.

Me: A wave? I love that.

And we picked berries! Lots and lots of berries.

Dylan loved it. And Summer…

Oh crap. Someone wake up Summer. She’s missing our country adventure! Just like her to nod off during the fabulous blueberry and raspberry picking. If she thinks she can just take a long snooze and then eat our hard earned berries without lifting one baby finger in the hot Pennsylvania sun – well, she’s probably right about that.

And then we ate ice cream! And pizza! The pizza tasted much more charming and far less greasy in the lovely surroundings.

I even had a hankering to peruse and purchase antiques, although I am not really into that sort of old, dusty furniture thing. If you adore antiques, please substitute, “beautifully preserved and crafted treasures” for “old, dusty furniture.”

Frankly, I was completely swept up in the fresh air euphoria until the trip back to Manhattan.

Since my dad came along and it gets very tight between the two car seats, one of us had to sit in the WAY back. And boy does it make your arse hurt to hang out back there for extended periods of time.

I kind of felt like the family dog or like Rick’s smuggling me across state lines. And no, my kids aren’t on drugs. They are just so very tired and watching the DVD player.

Apparently, we didn’t tucker my dad out enough because the next morning, he was willing to go to his first yoga class ever with me.

Here he is practicing his downward dogs before the class…

He was pretty damn good for an inexperienced 65 year-old yogi. Then he left to catch the Amtrak train back to his home in Cape Cod.

As the train pulled out of Penn Station, he texted me, “This downward dog has left the station.”

I wished him a peaceful, kid-free, zen ride home.

mama bird notes
Sandrine won the boys’ baby giveaway!! Congrats Sandrine. Send me your address and I will mail these goodies off to you.

I don’t know how I am going to return to my actual life. I mean, am I expected to change diapers and listen to whining and wipe faces again? There must be some kind of horrible error.

The Graco and the LBi production team made me feel like a princess. You know, a working princess. I spent my second day in “the” ATL (thank you Allison T and Buffy for that because I’m getting cooler and younger by the minute with all my new groovy lingo) shooting footage for the Graco car seat campaign. It’s set to air on the web later this summer. Yes, future links promised.

First they made me look pretty…

Umm… who hired the sweet makeup artist, who clearly moonlights as a freakin’ super model?

Then I quickly learned that installing a car seat is actually a snap when a professional like Carol explains it to you.

Despite my initial nervousness, I ended up kicking the arse of those latches and tethers and seatbelt retractors. Once I had conquered the car seat challenge, they sat me down for an interview to glean all my parental wisdom.

Hey wait – is this a game show? I hope I win the Nautilus 3-in-1 car seat. That was the seat I installed during the demo and frankly we got very emotionally attached working together. You know how the sparks fly on these fancy production shoots.

During the interview, the production guys (and there were a lot of them)….

would say things to me like…

“You have a great smile.”

“Fantastic!”

“You’re doing a great job.”

Wow. I think I’ll start expecting that kind of feedback from Rick and the girls each day. It’s the least they can do for all my efforts on the home front.

After the interview, another blogger, Victoria, and I hopped in a town car and jetted to the airport which makes me wonder (I’m channeling a little Carrie Bradshaw), am I really supposed to go back to life as usual, that constant state of toddler chaos that seems like a distant big apple memory?

Yes?

Oh thank goodness because I can hardly wait. I miss those cute, little sticky faces.

mama bird notes

Last chance to enter this week’s baby giveaway package. Two pairs of super cool Robeez shoes for boys (sizes 18 – 24 months and 20 – 24 months), an organic cotton and hemp burp cloth (see photo) from Burp Armor and the Melissa Errico “Lullabies and Wildflowers” CD. And all these goodies come in a fabulous recycled cotton tote from Joy by Mellim. Just leave a comment on the mama bird diaries this week and you are entered to win.

Hey. You’re so awesome to follow me all the way to Hotlanta or A.T.L as apparently the youngsters call it (thanks Sandrine for the 4-1-1 on that).

I think the term Hotlanta is roughly equivalent to, “The Big Apple.” I never refer to NYC as the big apple and I can’t imagine there are large swaths of Atlantans who go around saying things like…

“Hotlanta is such a great place to raise kids.”

“But I do wish Hotlanta had less traffic.”

“So what part of Hotlanta do you live in?”

But I promise here and now, if I ever relocate to Atlanta, I am totally calling it that.

I’m here, along with three other bloggers… Sheila from Xiaolin Mama, Joe from Joeprah and Vicky from The Mummy Chronicles to film a Graco car seat campaign. I’m going to have the opportunity to share my parenting know how (must quickly think of brilliant, clever parenting tips) and demonstrate how to install a car seat (First step: Turn to your spouse and say, “Hey, can you please install the car seat this morning?).

The video will go up on the Graco website, as a resource for parents. I must say, so far, it’s a very good gig. I’ve been white wined, lobster tail dined and pink pedicured, all courtesy of the cool folks at Graco. Apparently, they are actually going to make me do some work tomorrow. Alright, alright. Seems like the least I can do.

I miss my little cupcakes Dylan and Summer dearly (I mean really, who wants to actually pee alone?) but it is so nice to have a little calm and quiet and -

Wait, is that a baby?

And another one? Oh mercy. Who invited the kiddos?!

Actually, those adorable twins belong to my awesome college friend, Lanie. I was thrilled to meet them. They are named Hot and Lanta which is a bit odd but I think they can pull it off.

Note to reader: Their parents may actually call them Fletcher and Alyssa but I’m not confirming that.

Note to husband: Yes, I miss you too. I will confirm that.

mama bird notes

Don’t forget to enter this week’s baby giveaway package. Two pairs of super cool Robeez shoes for boys (sizes 18 – 24 months and 20 – 24 months), an organic cotton and hemp burp cloth (amazingly stylish and practical) and the Melissa Errico “Lullabies and Wildflowers” CD. And all these goodies come in a fabulous recycled cotton tote from Joy by Mellim. Just leave a comment on the mama bird diaries this week and you are entered to win.

So, of course, two days after I write all about the the quirky behavior of my lovely, beautiful Dylan, she has the nerve to go to bed in long sleeve pajamas…

plus a princess nightgown…

plus a winter hat with attached scarf combo. Dylan, I already wrote the, “Is My Kid Weird” post. Jeesh.

So do you think we have the air conditioning on too high or something?

Meanwhile my friend Julie recently dropped her cell phone in the water at the playground. She immediately asked for my expertise on the situation because of my long history of damaging technical gadgets.

I leaped into action, instructing her to immediately douse her cell phone in salt. The salt would suck out all the water and could bring her phone back to life, I explained. A friend suggested this brilliance on the mama bird diaries after my own phone dropped in a public toilet. Umm.. yeah. Still gross.

So Julie, believing that I am a trained tech professional, followed my instructions.

Except at some point, when her phone was buried deep in salt, Julie started having doubts about my yoda master skills and had the smarts to actually look up this advice. She quickly found out, it’s RICE that works like magic. Not friggin salt.

Oh. Did I say SALT? Rice. Uh, that’s what I meant.

Julie’s phone is a bit salty but hopefully working.

So yeah, today’s my birthday. How did you know? Oh, the heading of the post? So flashy, don’t you think?

Did I sit back and cry old tears on my 38th birthday? No. I. Did. Not.

I grabbed life by the handle bars and went biking with the crew.

Ok, so we all look kind of, incredibly dorky with our helmets (not a hint of Giselle or Leo). But safety first people. I’m not as sharp on the ole bike trail as I used to be.

Despite the fact that we were an hour late to pick up the bikes…

And then it took an additional 45 minutes to gear up.

And then it started raining.

And then Summer started crying.

And then full on tantruming.

This birthday family biking extravaganza all kind of worked out in the end and rocked.

And really tuckered us out.

This 38 year-old is headed down south to HOTlanta this week, courtesy of Graco. More later. Gotta keep you coming back.

mama bird notes

Mama bird Daphne Biener won the beautiful notecards by the 10 year-old artist Alexa Maizes. Congrats Daphne! No special treatment for Miss Contributor. Randomly picked. Mama’s promise.

This week we have a baby giveaway package for you. Two pairs of super cool Robeez shoes for boys (sizes 18 – 24 months and 20 – 24 months), an organic cotton and hemp burp cloth (amazingly stylish and practical) and the Melissa Errico “Lullabies and Wildflowers” CD. And all these goodies come in a fabulous recycled cotton tote from Joy by Mellim. Just leave a comment on the mama bird diaries this week and you are entered to win.