I recently read an article titled, “What Happens When Daughters Start to Outshine Their Mothers?” and I just kind of started shaking my head.
The article was about how it can be difficult for women when their daughters blossom into beautiful teenagers at the same time they are desperately trying to hold on to their youth.
Here’s an excerpt… “Christina Daves, almost 50, of the Washington D.C.-area, agrees. ‘Back in the day my husband and I hosted so many parties, and I was always ‘the belle of the ball.’ Today, however, it’s her 15-year-old-daughter and her friends that garner the most attention. ‘I’m so proud of their beauty and confidence,” says Daves, ‘but it’s hard to know that all the men are looking at them and not me.’
I mean, what?!
First of all, I think this mother should be WAY more concerned that the men she is inviting to her house are ogling her teen daughter. And who the heck really feels this way?
The moms I know want their daughters and sons to succeed in every way possible. They don’t resent their children for blossoming into adults, they support and encourage them. If they are trying to hold onto anything, it’s only wishing their kids could still be little so they could hold them in their arms and try to protect them from everything.
Just the notion of this article seems so sexist to me. I mean, do you think someone is pitching an article right now about how 40 something fathers are so jealous of their son’s rock hard abs and athletic prowess. I really doubt it.
Here’s the thing about doing a story on anything. If you can think of a catchy headline, you can usually find someone to give you a quote that will fit it. It doesn’t actually mean the issue is sweeping the nation.
And this Washington Post story starts with a photo of Reese Witherspoon who is out enjoying an evening with her kids. And then she gets thrown into an article about daughters supposedly outshining their mothers (even though there is no mention of her daughter Ava actually doing this).
Can the aging process be difficult? Of course. For men and women. But society is particularly harsh on women. I recently heard a guy describe a woman as “over the hill.” A woman who happened to be his exact same age. Double standard, indeed.
But just because aging can be a challenge, doesn’t mean you resent your own kids for growing up.
My mother still looks at me the way I look at my own children…. with awe and amazement. These people I helped create are creative, passionate, quirky and amazing. And I am excited to see what they become.
Do I wish my skin was as flawless as my 22 year old self? Sure. But you know what? I guarantee I just saw different flaws back then.
Men and women are not a depreciating commodity. They grow and they change and they evolve. That is something to be celebrated, not attacked.
Last weekend I went to New York City with my 2 1/2 year old son. Which meant that I left my four other kids with my husband Rick. It was actually a nice chance for Rick to spend some toddler free time with the four older ones. And I think they really liked the quality time with their dad.
At least I know 5 year old Harlowe did. Because she wrote me this thank you note (transcribed by Rick)…
A child’s appreciation is a beautiful thing.
Prior to learning about the Paris attacks, I was feeling very good about humanity.
You see – in one week, I had lost my wallet and cell phone. In separate incidents. I didn’t even know I lost my wallet until I showed up at the Miami Children’s Museum and didn’t have it. And you’ll be surprised to learn they don’t let you pay for tickets with cheddar goldfish. Thankfully, my dad met me there and loaned me that money museums like so much.
The last time I could remember having my wallet was at a kids’ playspace 24 hours earlier. I was troubled by this realization.
I immediately called them. And they said, “Oh yes. You left it here. We’ve got it.”
Later that day, I picked it up and it still had about $100 worth of cash in it. Wow. We live in a wonderful world.
A few days later, I was visiting New York City and I left my cell phone in an Uber car in Manhattan. Of course, I immediately went to use my cell to call the Uber driver so I could try to get my phone back. Do you see why that scenario didn’t work out so well? (Hint: Because you can’t make a call on a phone you don’t have.)
I didn’t know what the hell to do. I finally used my computer to access my Uber account and then borrowed a phone to call the driver. And you know what?! He was already on his way back to me. Hallelujah.
When he gave me back the cellphone, I gave him $20 bucks because that seemed like the right amount for “THANK YOU FOR SAVING ME SO MUCH MONEY AND STRESS AND INCONVENIENCE.” Maybe I should have given him $40. Or one of my kids. Again, wonderful world.
But hold on, I have more. On the plane to New York City, my 2 1/2 year old son Cash was kicking the seat in front of us. Not a few times. Not a hundred times. About 40,000 times. Unless the woman in front of us was in a coma (which she wasn’t), it was very annoying for her.
I couldn’t get him to stop. I told her to pick anything off the JetBlue menu or bar and I would buy it for her. She declined and then proceeded to help me entertain Cash.
I was so touched by her graciousness.
We landed. And then I learned of the Paris attacks. And it broke my heart. It broke everyone’s heart.
If you lived in New York City during 9-11. Actually scratch that. If you were an American during 9-11, you know what the Parisians are feeling. It’s complete devastation, unbearable sadness and incredible fear. But what the French must understand is that this week, this month, this year, we are all French.
Americans don’t back down from anything. An attack on France is an attack on us. We should stop at nothing to defeat ISIS so that people around the world can live peaceful lives.
Because most people are gracious, loving and will do whatever they can to help some mom whose son is kicking the hell out of their airline seat.
Most people are good. And France, you are not alone. We are with you. And we always will be.
There is apparently a coffee controversy going on. It’s because the Starbucks’ holiday cup now looks like this…
It’s so offensive, right?! The so-called problem? No ornaments, reindeer, snowflakes, Christmas trees or other holiday symbols.
A group of Christian evangelists is accusing Starbucks of waging a war on Christmas by removing the holiday images.
“I think Christians are at a point that they are fed up with the PC police who are demanding that Christ, and Christmas, be removed from the public eye for concern that it might offend people,” said Joshua Feuerstein, who has posted on Facebook and spoken to the media about the issue.
Wow. Someone really liked reindeers on his coffee cup.
He also contends that Starbucks hates Jesus.
You know what Starbucks really hates? People who make coffee at home.
In response to the controversy, Starbucks has maintained they are a company that is committed to creating “a culture of belonging, inclusion and diversity.” They also say the red cup mimics a blank canvas so coffee drinkers can create their own Christmas stories on Instagram, Twitter and Pinterest.
I will totally do that once I can get the permanent marker off my wall where my 2 1/2 year old created his own “story.”
Nobody is waging a war on Christmas. Or at least winning that war.
I was raised Christian and when I started dating my future Jewish husband – I started to realize that Christmas is everywhere. From now until New Year’s, you can’t take three steps without tripping over Santa Claus. Christmas songs will ring in your ears. Joyous greetings of “Merry Christmas” abound.
If you can rest easy about one thing – Christmas is thriving!
I love the magic of Christmas. I really do. But perhaps it’s okay to wish someone a happy holidays because you know, they might not celebrate Christmas. And it’s not an assault on the Christian holiday – it’s just a nice cheery way of saying, “Hey, whatever you celebrate, hope it kicks ass!”
Because it’s a beautiful thing to be inclusive. And to honor the fact that not everyone shares the same beliefs. And to celebrate that no matter what each of us believes, we are in this amazing, crazy world together.
And I think that is the spirit of the holidays. Not some coffee cup.
As a parent, I’m always looking for fresh things to worry about. I mean, I cover the usual. Are my kids okay? Am I a good parent? Did I lock the doors? Are they properly buckled in the car? Did I unplug my flat iron? Am I eating too much candy? Will my dentist know? That sort of thing.
But today, I found something new to worry about when I saw the headline…. “Pediatricians’ new warning: Limit children’s exposure to cellphones.”
Here’s the deal. Children are not little adults. Their skulls are thinner and can absorb more radiation from cellphones. So we need to limit their exposure to radiation as much as possible.
Here’s the good news. Ryan Gosling is coming to your house tomorrow!
Okay, that’s not the good news. The good news is that it’s pretty easy to reduce your kids (and your exposure) to radiation.
1. Keep your phone at a distance. For every inch you keep your phone away from the body, the amount of radiation your body or head absorbs goes down exponentially. So don’t keep your phone or let your kids keep a phone close to their body – like a back pocket.
2. Use a wired earpiece or talk on speakerphone. You don’t want to be pressing it to your ear because you’re absorbing more radiation.
3. If you plan to watch a movie, download it first. Then switch your device to airplane mode and watch it. The reason? If a device is connected to wifi or the internet, it is always transmitting radiation.
4. Avoid using a cellphone where the signal is weak. The weaker your cell signal is, the harder your phone has to work and the more radiation it gives off.
5. Don’t sleep with your phone next to your bed. And it’s best to shut off the phone or put it into airplane mode when you’re sleeping.
So are you starting to long for the days when you were just nervous about the radiation from your microwave?
But at least we can do something to reduce our exposure to cellphone radiation because we certainly aren’t going to stop using that glorious, magical microwave.
Oh and I’m sorry Ryan Gosling isn’t coming to your house tomorrow.
But here he is saying, “Hey girl, Don’t be afraid to use a landline now and then.”