This was the first greeting I got from my husband and children on Mother’s Day.

Via text message at 8:24 am (because who needs Hallmark when you have texting).

“Happy Mother’s Day! We’re locked out so call us if you get this. We love you.”

Then my cell phone rang. Three times.

Then the knocking began.

Ok, ok…I’m up. I got it. Mother’s Day is on. Full on. Right now.

I’m glad I let those persistent buggers in because Rick and the girls lavished me with gifts and roses and caffeine. Then we went to our favorite diner and walked home in the brisk sunshine. In a universe of millions, these are my two favorite little hands to hold.

But there is something that always makes me a little uncomfortable about Mother’s Day.

It’s the day I feel like my relationship with my own mother is just not good enough. Shouldn’t we be like girlfriends, always shopping and laughing and lunching and pedicuring? Shouldn’t we be talking on the phone everyday, discussing whether McDreamy should be with Rose or Meredith. Like two peas in a maternal pod?

But we aren’t. She has never heard of Meredith or Rose. And long chats on the phone? Not exactly my thing.

So where do we connect? Especially on this holiday that expects so much from us.

Perhaps somewhere along the Hudson River.

Rick took the kids to New Jersey to see his family and my mother and I roller bladed along the water.

We skated and talked. And maybe it wasn’t a greetings card. Maybe we didn’t bond like they do in those effervescent Mother’s Day commercials. But it felt real.

I know sometimes we both wish it was different. That maybe if we could dart back in time, fix things somehow… erase divorce and limitations and our own strikingly different chemistry… then we could somehow be more alike. More intertwined.

Or maybe one must slowly let go of the past. Try to release those mother-daughter expectations. And realize, it’s ok to be different. It’s ok to just be ourselves.

Today I expressed, to my mother, my true joy that she is off on her next adventure, to pursue a degree in social work.

She shared how proud she feels to watch the woman and the mother I’ve become.

And she was an enormous part of that…. this me that now exists. And for that mom, I am truly grateful.

And maybe in the end, that was the gift of this day.

mama bird notes
Shannon is the winner of the Lavender and Eucalyptus Bath Spa Kit from Organic Style. Congrats Cole Mine girl! Check out her sassy self in red.

Time for the mama’s survival kit giveaway! It includes decadent, organic homemade chocolates from nunu chocolates, organic coffee from Grounds for Change, and some eco friendly, fabulous wine from Parducci. No, I’m sorry Erin, sadly it doesn’t come with a nanny. Darn, I should have thought of that.

To enter to win, just leave a comment this week on the mama bird diaries.

I keep shoving that Dora chick in the kids’ closet and my daughter Dylan keeps pulling her out. Frankly, it’s scaring me a bit every time I unexpectedly run into her. Am I just a wimp or does this Dora doll look a little crazy and unstable?

And this girl doctor doll isn’t much better.

What is with the hair on these ladies? I understand this one is busy with all her hospital rounds and patients but a gal shouldn’t let herself go like this. I mean, a little maintenance on the doctor pigtails for gosh sakes.

Speaking of a tad scary, yesterday we shunned the posh playgrounds and headed to one that’s a bit rougher around the edges. There are always bored teenagers hanging around with their thongs hanging out of their rhinestone studded, low cut jeans. Loitering is a very popular hobby at this park.

Guys playing basketball nearby introduced my girls to fun, spirited phrases like, “F**k, you suck b**ch.” As we all know, you are never too young to learn useful sports terminology. Basically, it’s the kind of place you’d like to have your ass-kicking-wing-woman-Dora around once the sun goes down.

But the upside of all this urban exposure is very few children come here (what red flag? I don’t see a red flag.) so Dylan never has to wait for a swing…

And that’s pretty awesome. Plus, I rarely ever find drug paraphernalia on the ground.

Speaking more on the topic of awesome and less on drug paraphernalia, I hope all you rockin’ moms have an awesome mamas day.

mama bird notes

Don’t miss out on this mother’s day giveaway! Leave a comment on the mama bird diaries and you are entered to win this Lavender and Eucalyptus Bath Spa Kit from Organic Style. $80 value. I wish I could give one to every mum out there. This organic set combines the aromatherapy benefits of relaxing and soothing lavender with rejuvenating and refreshing eucalyptus.

Next week, I’ll be giving away a mother’s survival kit which includes organic coffee from Grounds for Change, decadent organic, homemade chocolates from nunu chocolates and some eco friendly, fabulous wine from Parducci. Details to come.

So there seems to be a lot of interest in this…

So I’m just going to come right out and tell you…

It’s completely natural.

What?! You don’t believe me? Jeesh.

One West Coast mama wants to know if this streaky hair thing is all the rage in New York City. I don’t think so. I just kind of like it this way.

If I’m going to spend the money to have it professionally highlighted, I don’t want it to look all I-was-born-with-this-hair. Now what would be the point of that?

Anyway, me and my cool or maybe not-so-cool hair were supposed to be on a local New York news station tomorrow to talk about my fave eco gifts for mother’s day. I don’t get paid by these companies. I just think they’re green and awesome. I was going to talk about cool stuff from Organic Style, nunu chocolates, eco-artware, Grounds for Change, Parducci, Joy by Mel Lim, Toby + Rei and Gardenia Organic.

But then me and my artificial hair and all my eco wit got dumped.

I was sad. But I get it. That’s showbiz. Segments get changed. When I was a booker/associate producer way back in my youthful twenties, I had to frequently cancel guests. Maybe it’s TV karma coming around to me.

I used to make ridiculous requests. I once had to ask a sickly guest if he could wear his oxygen tank only during the commercials because it would.. uh… look better on television if he didn’t have tubes coming out of his nose. Seriously. The poor guy was just trying to breathe. And I asked another frequent guest if she could please not wear the same orange down vest for the third time in a row. Did she perhaps own something… well… ANYTHING else?

Yes. Obviously karma.

But I picked myself up and headed to WFUV public radio today. I, along with two other super sassy bloggers, One of those Horrible Moms and Mommy Knows Breast….

was interviewed about raising kids in New York City. We talked about breastfeeding on the subway, letting your kids pee between cars and whether you should put your child in a taxi without a car seat. You can hear it all in the New York area this Saturday at 7:30 AM on 90.7 FM or via the web. Maybe if I can get my bad ass tech self together, I’ll put the webcast on the mama bird diaries.

As for me… now I kind of want my own radio show.

Of course, then no one could see my freaky, streaky hair.

mama bird notes

Thanks to New York City Moms Blog, my piece on plastic sugery, “Don’t Judge the Mommy Makeover” got picked up by newspapers all over the country including… the Miami Herald, the Modesto Bee and the News & Observer!

Contributing mama Daphne Biener is back in Colorado and has another humorous tale about life with her girls. Warning… you will crave brownies after reading this.

Have some ideas of great vacation spots in the United States? A mama could use your help. Click on askamama and share your brilliance.

Speaking of vacations, what’s your idea of the perfect holiday? Click on the poll and give us your opinion. And here are the results from our most recent poll…

You just won a free week long trip to London! Your hubby is staying home with the kids. So which gal pal are you taking along for your vacation? The Brit comes out big and these days Hillary is even getting beaten by Marsha Brady and Lauren Conrad. Oh Hillary, I’d holiday with you! Here are the results… Victoria Beckham (35%), Marsha Brady (18%), Lauren Conrad of “The Hills” (15%), Chelsea Clinton (12%), Hillary Clinton (11%) and Diane Sawyer (9%).

FINALLY…our mother’s day giveaway! Leave a comment on the mama bird diaries this week and you are entered to win this Lavender and Eucalyptus Bath Spa Kit from Organic Style. $80 value. I wish I could give one to every mum out there. This organic set combines the aromatherapy benefits of relaxing and soothing lavender with rejuvenating and refreshing eucalyptus. Doesn’t that sound just lovely?

I must have gotten my atheist father thinking with all my recent questions about God, life after death, and reincarnation. No, he wasn’t swayed by my brilliant arguments in support of a higher power and an afterlife.

But at least the guy is planning ahead. A couple days ago, I received a letter from him detailing the whereabouts of his Last Will and Testament, along with other important documents. He claims I won’t need this information until 2043 (when he’d be 100 years-old, by the way… nothing wrong with a little optimism). Somehow I’m thinking I will probably misplace this letter sometime in the next 35 years, but I’ll try.

The best part of the letter was the P.S.. He writes…

“When it comes time to do something with what remains of me, I’m fine with cremation unless you choose otherwise…. If you choose to have me in the ground, in a spot you could visit me from time to time (I would enjoy that), I’ve always liked the little cemetery near my house…”

So now suddenly, I’m not only imagining my father dead but I’m suddenly considering whether to cremate or bury him. Hot Flames vs. claustrophobic dirt. Heck, pour the margaritas and bring out the nacho chips and salsa because this is really getting super fun!

Interestingly, my dad, who believes there is no heaven, no afterlife, no reuniting with souls, no nothing… except that you cease to exist when you die, would still ENJOY a graveside visit.

Why is that exactly?

Is he hedging his bets? Just in case his spirit is still hanging around, he thinks it might be nice to see me stop by the old grave site once in awhile?

Dad, I’m happy to do it. Especially if the cemetery has WiFi. Oh, alright, even if it doesn’t. Because when you’re gone (many, many years from now please), I will miss you. I will deeply miss you and all your strong opinions. So I will go to your grave and I will sit there and I will talk to you and I know you will feel my presence and I will feel yours.

Oh wait.. there was a P.P.S. to the letter. My dad writes…

“I hope all this doesn’t creep you out too much. xo”

Well, a little bit.

But no, I guess not too much.

Are you on the hunt to find out the sex of Marie’s baby? If yes, keep moving to Psychicgeek.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about… my post is below.

We headed to Rick’s Camp Harlam reunion this weekend. This is kind of how it went…

“Rick, so good to see you…”

“Rick-eeeee, my god, it’s been forever…”

“Rick, how the hell are you buddy…”

Repeat those phrases, in any order, about 8,000 times.

There were some very bored spouses. Like this guy…

But not me. I wasn’t bored. I had work to do. Like track down Rick’s exes. First, I found Tracy Gross. She was cute and nice. Tracy didn’t seem like she wanted to rumble at all for my man, which was a bit disappointing. Apparently, she is married with a son and a whole happy life.

Rick + Tracy (True Love Forever) dated for a camp summer. Here they are now…

And back in the romantic day…

And I found another hubby ex…. Missy Frankel. This is Rick’s first love. I had heard so much about this girl that she seemed like a celebrity to me. So I immediately snapped a photo of her which she definitely thought was kind of weird. I can confirm this because she said, “that was kind of weird.” See what I mean? Not hard to interpret that.

She, too, was very sweet and had absolutely no interest in cat fighting for Rick. Come on ladies! I thought we were going to rock this reunion! This Color War is so on. Or so not.

I finally lost track of Rick in the sea of cute and maybe-once-cute Jewish boys and focused on the food. After 16 cookies…

I was nauseous and ready to go home. And a speedy hour and a half later, Rick was too.

Meanwhile, our girls had a blast with Rick’s parents. I saw many photos of Dylan once again wearing nothing but my body hugging, belly sucking underwear, pulled up to her armpits, and my high heels. Completely awesome because it wasn’t enough that my babysitter saw it. Now my in-laws have gotten a close-up glimpse of my secret undergarments too.

So I asked my VERY BEAUTIFUL AND GENEROUS mother-in-law to PLEASE not email out the pictures.

She won’t do it… right?

mama bird notes

Maidenform was absolutely the most popular giveaway we’ve had on the mama bird diaries. The big winner is Queen Goob. Yahoo Maidenform! Yahoo Queen Goob!

Another giveaway coming later this week mamas.

Rick has been working the morning anchor shift lately which means he’s out the door at 4 am, leaving me to wake up with the girls. Frankly, I don’t see why he can’t anchor the morning news AND get up with the kids. He maintains it’s technically impossible but I think he may not be trying hard enough.

So every morning around 6:30 am, I can suddenly can feel someone staring at me. I open my eyes and in front of me are two blue eyes (which Dylan insists are green - don’t even bother trying to correct her), just a couple inches from my face. Her supposedly-green-but-actually-blue-eyes are intently focused on me. I can feel her breath on my face. I’m not big on breath in my face. Is anyone really?

“I have to go poop,” Dylan says.

“Ok, go ahead. You can do it yourself honey,” I offer. I’ve never actually sold her on this brilliant idea of mine but I remain forever optimistic.

“I want you to get me started,” Dylan counters.

So I drag myself out of bed, put the bathroom light on and hoist her up onto the Elmo toilet seat.

There. She’s started. I climb back into bed and just as I am about to drift into that sweet, heavenly, magical, beautiful….

“I’m ready to be wiped!”

I wrap up the wiping as Summer wakes up. A few minutes later, I sit the girls down for breakfast. Dylan wants cereal but there is a slight stipulation.

She wants one bowl for the milk.

Another bowl for the cereal.

And a third bowl for sliced bananas.

So I say, “Dylan. Don’t be crazy. You’ll have one bowl with cereal, bananas and milk. I’m not washing THREE bowls. No one needs three bowls to eat cereal!”

Oh wait. That’s not right.

Actually I say, “Ok.”

So. Much. Easier.

The cool thing about Rick heading off to working so early is that he’s home for that always glamorous dinner-bath-books-bed routine. So last night I slipped out and headed to SoHo for an Italian cooking lesson and incredible meal sponsored by Select Italy and organized by the awesome Traveling Mom.

I got to hang with two super adorable Italian chefs… Andrea and Francesco.

They were so funny and talented and just so darn Italian, that I couldn’t help but hug one of them.

That Francesco is just a peach. Would it kill him to put his arm around me?

But it wasn’t all about fun here. No. No. No. I worked my American arse off. Here I am preparing a Grana Padano cheese basket for my baby greens and roasted quail. And you thought I only did Amy’s Organic Mac and Cheese.

I also got to wine and dine with some mighty fine bloggers like Role Mommy, One of those Horrible Moms (who wasn’t even a smidgen horrible), Mom in the City and Today’s Mama.

By the time I got home, the kids were fed, clean, polished and tucked into their beds like dreamy angels.

But there will be payback.

Rick’s taking me to his cult camp reunion this weekend in Philadelphia. I’m told 600 people will be there. Seriously. 600 people I don’t know. Wish me luck mamas.

mama bird notes:

Ever thought about plastic surgery? It’s crossed my mind. Read my piece, Don’t Judge the Mommy Makeover on New York City Moms Blog.

And don’t miss out on our way cool giveaway this week from Maidenform. You have the chance to win $300 worth of bras, underwear and shapewear that you pick out from the their website!

If the winner turns out to live in the New York City area, you’ll have the bonus opportunity to visit Maidenform’s Madison Avenue showroom for a personal fitting.

To enter, just leave a comment on the mama bird diaries this week. You also need to forward a post to a friend. See that little pink box that says, “send to a friend”? Click there. No spamming your friends. Ever.

I knew this day would finally come.

For more than a year, our apartment building has been surrounded by heavy machinery, ginormous cranes and ever escalating floors of concrete. I figured that eventually my 3 1/2 year-old daughter would notice the noise, debris and chaos and actually mention the two huge buildings going up outside our door.

And she finally did…

She pointed to a white pipe protruding from one of the concrete walls.

“Mom, look at that. That looks like that thing you use in the potty.”

“A tampon?” I responded. “You’re right honey. It does look like a tampon.”

Wow. It feels kind of weird to show a big picture of a tampon on my site. Oh please guy readers… don’t log off. Come on.. it’s just a tampon!

While we are on the subject of girlish things… I actually got a real life sighting of Ms. Contributing Mama Daphne Biener in New York City. The transplanted Colorado girl with an East Coat soul was in town to visit family. And she made time to see me! Now, Daphne initially comes across as a laid back, granola, I-don’t-need-makeup, low maintenance kind of girl. She told me to pick ANY restaurant. She was FLEXIBLE.

We sat down at Josie’s, a popular, healthy New American sort of place on the Upper West Side. Daphne is nibbling on cornbread and perusing the menu. She says, “Wow, usually when I look at a menu, a million things pop out at me. But I’m not really seeing anything.”

“Everything is really good,” I promise.

Daphne looks at the menu some more. Apparently, not a lot of “popping” going on.

“We can leave. We can find another place,” I offer, not really thinking she’ll actually make me get off my arse.

“Let’s go get sushi,” Daphne says. So we throw down a few bucks for the half eaten cornbread and walk out. And after checking out three restaurants in the neighborhood, we finally pick Citrus Bar & Grill which turns out to be pretty perfect.

Just a couple of super flexible, laid back, low maintenance girls out in the city.

One last tidbit. As you all know, I have two close friends who both just had their second child. In the spirit of a supportive mama community, I want to give them a tip for managing two.

When the baby cries at night and your toddler is trying to sleep in the same room, ear muffs come in very handy (no matter what time of year it is). Just ask Dylan who used this technique last night.

To take this photo, I risked waking TWO children. There’s nothing I won’t do for you all.

mama bird notes

We have an an awesome giveaway this week from Maidenform! You have the chance to win $300 worth of bras, underwear and shapewear from Maidenform (that you get to pick out from the website!).

If the winner turns out to live in the New York City area, you’ll have the bonus opportunity to visit Maidenform’s Madison Avenue showroom for a personal fitting. And their best fitter has touched the boobs of some very high profile celebs. I’m sure you can get the dirt when you go. If the winner doesn’t live in the NYC area, you’ll simply give them your sizes.

Man, who couldn’t use some properly fitting, sassy bras and underwear? To enter, just leave a comment on the mama bird diaries this week. You also need to forward a post to a friend. See that little pink box that says, “send to a friend”? Click there. Of course, I would never spam. Plus now (thanks to a very smart suggestion from mama bird reader Valerie), you can type a note when you forward posts.

Feel feel to write, “That ridiculously bossy Kelcey is making me forward this post so I can win fabulous underwear.”

Good luck mamas!

Seats are buckled and we are off to my mother’s house in Connecticut.

We drive four blocks. Dylan pees in her car seat

We briefly contemplate whether it’s cruel to let our child sit in her drenched car seat for an hour. Although clearly the more convenient option, it somehow just doesn’t feel like good parenting. Sort of like when I look at 16 month-old Summer’s eyebrows and think, wow, they could use a good tweeze but I know that’s not appropriate. Good parenting is just something you feel in your gut.

We loop around the block.

After a change of clothes, we finally make it to my mother’s house.

Within a few weeks, she’s moving to Northampton, Massachusetts to pursue a master’s in social work. I hope it’s kind of a crunchy place because my mom is wearing these today.

So we are here for a party to celebrate her new adventure. The invitation read, “Susan (that’s my mom) and Lilly (that’s my mom’s dog) Cordially Invite You To Come Celebrate The Changing Of Our Lives, Mine, Yours, Your Families and all Sentient Beings.”

I’m still not sure of the definition of a “sentient being.” My mom often skates along on this sort of esoteric, Buddhist plain that I don’t always quite grasp.

This is my mom’s house.

We moved here when I was 14. A popular kid named Tim lived here before. And his best friend Teddy was mad as all crazy hell that his best friend moved away and I moved in.

Teddy viciously taunted me on the school bus.

He told me Tim’s dead cat was buried in the front yard.

Fortunately, Teddy is not invited to the party.

The salty smell of the Long Island Sound immediately brings back my youth. Water skiing. Roller blading. Soulful, heart destroying crushes. Real boyfriends. Sailing lessons. Cruising through town. The pursuit of the perfect fake ID. Throwing a party and having someone steal the phone off the wall. Swearing that I did not throw a party despite the missing phone and other very compelling evidence. Best friends. Breaking up with boyfriends. Leaving home. Coming home.

But there is no more coming home. My home is somewhere else now. This is me today. Kind of mopey.

But today is not about me. It’s about my 65 year-old mother who despite her fear, is moving joyfully on to the next chapter of her life.

Dylan has been on spring break all week. With her three rigorous mornings a week of preschool, she was really ready to blow off some steam.

So she’s been getting totally wasted on Milwaukee’s Best Light and raging hard with her gal pals down in Ft. Lauderdale.

Well… actually, she’s mostly been hanging out with me and Summer. I guess the flights to Florida were booked. Or she just thinks her mum is super cool. Or maybe it’s because she’s 3.

But she’s still living it up toddler style.

She felt the sand between her toes at a Tribeca playground and flirted with 8 year-old Michael.

She REALLY wanted to help Michael build his sand castle but the guy was a bit of a loner. Or maybe he’s just coming off another relationship and the timing isn’t right.

Anyway, Dylan got over Michael real fast, and moved on to a somewhat older crush, Jimmy the plumber.

I was practically in love with Jimmy too, with the way he arrived on time and fixed my bath drain. Dylan thought Jimmy was way cool but just so damn focused on his work. Don’t you hate when guys are like that?

Dylan even started a diary this week. She can’t keep all these exciting vacation adventures bottled up inside.

She narrated out loud as she pretended to write, “Summer had major poop. So big we can’t believe it. It was so big we had to go to the doctor and then I got a cold.”

Well, the poop part is accurate. I must say Dylan was fibbing a bit with the doctor and the cold part. But let’s cut the chick some slack because who hasn’t exaggerated a little when telling spring break tales.

Then we had the opportunity, to watch a young boy pee this morning on a flower bed of fresh tulips, as we walked to the coffee shop. I guess sometimes you really gotta go… on someone’s beautiful flowers.

But the very best, most awesome part of this week was meeting this gal… Lila Drew Bales.

Yup. Even better than accosting Michael Kors. Congratulations to contributing mama Jordana Bales, her hubby Michael and big sis, Ava. But mostly to Jordana who had a VBAC with the little miss who weighed in at 9 lbs, 12 ounces. That is some strong work, girlfriend.

And I saw pictures people. Very graphic pictures. Vagina. Blood. Baby. Placenta. Seriously.

I love the name Lila Drew so much I’m thinking of changing my own name to Lila Drew. Is that creepy? She was so scrumptious and sweet and fuzzy that maybe I’ll just…

Or crap… BIG sign about facing serious penalties if you leave the floor with a newborn. Can you believe that I’m bossy enough to make poor Jordana, after giving birth to a 9 lb plus baby, take snapshots of me pretending to steal her baby?!

Fine. I’ll give Lila back. Jordana deserves her. She did carry her for 42 crazy long weeks.

And congrats as well to the Bowyer/Cruise family on their new little boy, Samuel Alden Lester Cruise. If Lila, an upper east side girl, has a thing for downtown boys then maybe a little something can be worked out here. Not too early for those baby lovebirds to start planning spring break ‘28. The Milwaukee is on me.

mama bird notes

As a parent, I sometimes feel like I’m on fast forward… especially during the bedtime routine. Contributing mama Daphne Biener got a lesson in slowing down by the great Mary Poppins. Or at least someone fitting that exact description. Click on drooling over this to read more.

We have an awesome giveaway coming next week from Maidenform. Details to come…

You know I’ve dabbled.

Not long ago, I invaded the personal space of Penn Badgley. You still don’t know who he is? My god, what do I have to do to get you to watch, “Gossip Girl?” Anyway, he’s one of the stars of the CW show and as you may remember, I, inexplicably, tapped him on the arm one day and gushed, “I love your show” like some kind of weird, 30-something stalker mom.

And you may also recall that I recently felt compelled to talk to Saturday Night Live performers Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers when I saw them having a private dinner in the West Village.

But I considered these encounters just two unexplainable, unsettling incidents after a long history of make-believe celebrity indifference. I mean, I’ve spent years pretending not to notice the likes of Heidi Klum, Liv Tyler and Julianne Moore in my very own neighborhood.

And I can still say proudly that I have NEVER, EVER asked for a celebrity photo.

Until last night….

I am just disgusted with myself.

What the heck is wrong with me? In my defense, it’s fashion designer and brilliant Project Runway judge Michael Kors. And if I simply told you (without the mega pixel proof) that I met him at the Publicolor fundraiser (which was a super cool, colorful event), I’m so sure you’d say, “Likely story Kelcey. You know, you don’t have to make stuff up like celebrity friends to be loved.”

But now you can see for yourself. I feel ashamed and embarrassed. Yet somehow… happy.

But I don’t even trust myself anymore. Seriously, how long before I ask for someone’s autograph? That would be rock bottom people. Rock friggin’ bottom.

Anyway, Michael was very nice about the photo. And it’s not his fault that he looks so oily because it was very hot.

And now I can’t wait for the next season of Project Runway because you just know he’ll be rattling on and on about that stylish, mysterious woman he met at the Publicolor fundraiser and how she would just make the most AMAZING model if only she was a lot taller… and a lot younger… and a lot more like Heidi Klum.

Auf Wiedersehen!

mama bird notes

Looking for some green mother’s day ideas? Click on drooling over this for my best ten.